Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Michael Kelly: CJ

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ana : The bleeding's not gonna stop on its own. I need to stich his arm.

  CJ : What are you, a fucking doctor?

  Ana : No, I'm a fucking nurse.

• Michael : So what's the plan?

  CJ : The plan is you drink a nice tall glass of shut the fuck up.

• CJ : [after everyone enters an elevator to escape the zombies]  I like this song.

• CJ : Excuse me, not to shit on anyone's riff here, but let me see if I grasp this concept, okay? You're suggesting that we take some fucking parking shuttles and reinforce them with some aluminum siding, and then just head on over to the gun store where we watch our good friend Andy play some cowboy-movie, jump-on-the-covered-wagon bullshit? Then we're going to drive across the ruined city through a welcome committee of a few hundred thousand dead cannibals. All so we can sail off into the sunset on this fucking asshole's boat?

  [Points to Steve] 

  CJ : Head for some island that for all we know doesn't even exist?

  Kenneth : Yeah.

  Tucker : Pretty much, yeah.

  Ana : [nods her head] 

  Michael : Yeah.

  Steve : [gives a sarcastically enthusiastic "thumb up"] 

  CJ : Okay. I'm in.

• Terry : [Deleted scene/Unrated Version scene] 

  [covers the corpses on the floor] 

  Terry : Somebody should say something.

  Ana : Yeah.

  Michael : Glen?

  Glen : No.

  Ana : You worked in a church.

  Glen : I played the organ.

  CJ : Come on, man. You must've heard the priest say something about life and death.

  Glen : It was a job. I don't believe in God. I don't see how anyone could.

• Ana : [everyone has run to the roof to watch the BP truck racing around the mall parking lot]  What are we gonna do about that truck?

  CJ : We're not gonna do anything about that truck!

  Ana : There's people in there!

  CJ : Yeah, and how do you know they're not all fucked up like everybody else out there?

  Ana : Well, for one thing, they're driving a truck.

  [gunshots coming from truck] 

  Ana : Oh, and shooting guns.

• Bart : Wanna hear something that really sucks? You guys know that chick at Dairy Queen?

  CJ : The fat one?

  Bart : Yeah. She was coming over tonight. I would have tapped that shit for sure.

  Terry : Bart, dude, everybody's dead, okay? Your mom's dead. Your brother's dead. That fat chick at Dairy Queen? Dead!

  Bart : Yeah. That sucks, too.

• [his last line] 

  CJ : Fucking figures!

• Bart : Look, he's a twitcher.

  [C.J. and Terry watch the twitching zombified security guard] 

  Bart : TV says you gotta shoot them in the head.

  Terry : TV said a lot of things that aren't true.

  CJ : Well, fuck the fucker. I told him not go to downstairs.

  [C.J. shoots the zombified security guard in head] 

• Michael : Those things are down there!

  CJ : Well, these are all your problems, not mine.

  Kenneth : If I put my foot up your ass, would that be your problem?

• CJ : [to Kenneth]  You can take your ass over to the Quality Inn if it's still there, Shaq!

• Michael : You come with me, or you go back in that cell.

  CJ : All right. I ain't going anywhere without a gun.

  Michael : [Breaks a glass case holding a fire ax, throws it to CJ]  Have at them, cowboy!

  CJ : Asshole.

• CJ : [to Bart]  Hey, dumbass. It's the timers. It's 8:00.

  CJ : [to Terry] 

  CJ : Terry. Go shut them off.

  Terry : It's Bart's turn.

  Bart : You're the trainee, man. Shit rolls downhill.

• Steve : Whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. Why does he stay here while I go on the suicide mission to rescue Terry's already-dead girlfriend?

  Terry : Fuck you, man!

  Michael : We don't know that.

  CJ : You know what, asshole? Either way we gotta get over there and get the guns to get out of this parking lot, all right?

• Bart : [In the parking garage]  What the fuck was that? I just saw something.

  CJ : You didn't see shit, Bart. Shut the fuck up.

  Bart : Oh, shit. Here it comes.

  [a dog turns the corner] 

  Bart : Jesus Christ! It's a fucking dog.

  Michael : [to dog]  Come here, boy. Well, at least you know nothing's down here. It would've eaten him.

  Bart : See? I told you I saw something!

• Steve : [Waiting by the trucks, sees everybody running to them]  Hey, what the hell happened to you guys?

  Michael : Give me the keys!

  Ana : [Running past]  Prick!

  CJ : [Pushes Steve]  I'll deal with you later, motherfucker!

• Bart : What's the news?

  CJ : Bad.

• Luda : Excuse me, please? Is there a restroom?

  CJ : No. You're staying here.

  Andre : So then why don't you tell us which spot in here you'd like us to take a piss?

• Terry : [about the people in the truck]  You can't just turn them away, CJ, you'll kill them!

  CJ : Tough shit. Self-defense.

  Terry : I'm not killing anybody!

  CJ : [Points his gun at Terry]  You know what? I'll kill you!

• CJ : [locking others into store for the night]  I don't want anybody sneaking around and stealing shit.

  [shuts gate] 

  CJ : Comprende? Sweet dreams.

• CJ : America always sorts its shit out.

• [repeated line] 

  CJ : Fucking nursery school.

• Terry : I wish somebody was working Hallowed Grounds.

  CJ : How hard is it to make a cup of coffee?

  Terry : I wanted a soy mocha latte with foam.

  Bart : Faggot.

• CJ : [waving a gun at fellow survivors]  I'll kill each and every one of you to stay alive. You hear me?