Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Dylan Moran: David

Photos 

Quotes 

• Shaun : David, kill the Queen!

  David : What?

  Shaun : The jukebox!

• Liz : Shaun?

  Shaun : Yeah?

  Liz : You see what I'm saying?

  Shaun : Yep, totally.

  Liz : I know he's your best friend, but you do live with him.

  Shaun : I know.

  Liz : It's not that I don't like Ed.

  [Liz looks over at Ed who is playing an arcade game] 

  Liz : Ed, it's not that I don't like you.

  Ed : It's all right.

  Liz : It would just be nice if we could...

  Ed : [talking to the arcade machine]  Fuck!

  Liz : ...spend a bit more time together...

  Ed : [talking to the arcade machine]  Bollocks!

  Liz : ...just the two of us.

  Ed : [talking to the arcade machine]  Cock it!

  Liz : It's just with Ed here, it's no wonder I always bring my flat-mates out and then that only exacerbates things.

  Shaun : What do you mean?

  Liz : Well you guys hardly get on, do you?

  Shaun : No, what does "exacerbate" mean?

  Liz : It means um, to make things worse.

  Shaun : Right. Well I mean, it's not that I don't like David and Di.

  [Shaun looks over at David and Di at the table next to them] 

  Shaun : Guys, it's not that I don't like you.

  David , Dianne : [together]  It's all right.

  Shaun : And it's not that I don't want to spend time with you cause I do. It's just... Ed doesn't have too many friends.

  Ed : Can I get... any of you cunts... a drink?

• [Shaun has just fought a zombie unassisted] 

  Shaun : [sarcastically]  Feel free to step in any time!

  Ed : You did all right.

  David : I didn't want to cramp your style.

• David : I'm not staying here.

  Liz : David, don't, that's suicide.

  Ed : I think you should go.

• [after Shaun gets shouted at by Liz] 

  David : Basically, I'd say your nine lives are up, Shaun

  Shaun : Get fucked, four eyes! Why don't you go out with her if you love her so much?

  David : What do you mean by that?

  [storms off] 

  David : Well, I don't know what he meant by that.

  [uncomfortable silence] 

• Ed : [Directing Shaun on where to shoot]  There!

  Shaun : Where?

  Ed : Three o'clock!

  Dianne : Oh! Over there again. Quarter to twelve.

  Shaun : What?

  David : Eleven forty-five!

  Shaun : Keep it simple!

  Ed : Top left!

• Dianne : I don't think he'd leave us, Davs.

  David : Wouldn't he? Lizzy, how can you put your faith in a man you spectacularly binned for being unreliable? A man whose idea of a romantic nightspot and an impenetrable fortress are the same thing? It's... This is a pub! We are in a pub! What are we going to do now?

  Ed : We could get a round in.

• David : You still haven't met his mum?

  Shaun : Not yet!

  Dianne : Don't you get on with your mum, Shaun?

  Shaun : It's not that I don't get on with her...

  David : Are you ashamed by your mum, Shaun?

  Shaun : No! I love my mum!

  Ed : I love his mum too.

  Shaun : Ed!

  Ed : [singing]  She's like butter!

  Shaun : Ed!

• David : For a hero, you're quite a hypocrite!

• Shaun : You're the one that's gone from being a chartered accountant to Charlton Heston!

  David : I'm not a chartered accountant!

  Shaun : Well, you look like one!

  Ed : YEAH!

  David : I'm a lecturer.

  Shaun : You're a twat!

  Ed : YEAH!

• David : What are we going to eat?

  Dianne : Toasties!

  Ed : There's a Breville out back.

  David : Great. Saved by nibbles.

• [David discovers that the zombies have somehow made it into the bar. Shaun, Ed and Liz are still beating the barman] 

  Shaun : Why is Queen still playing?

  David : Ah, we have a situation here.

  Shaun : I KNOW!

• Liz , Declan : [as each survivor passes by their parallel counterpart]  Hi.

  David , Mark : [formally]  Hello.

  Dianne , Maggie : [friendly]  Hi!

  Barbara , Yvonne's Mum : [politely]  Hello.

  Ed , Cousin Tom : [too involved with their cell phones, briefly glancing at each other, muttering]  Hello.