Neil Patrick Harris: Neil Patrick Harris
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Quotes
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Harold : Neil, you wouldn't happen to know how to get on the highway from here, would you?
Neil Patrick Harris : Dude, I don't even know where the fuck I am right now. I was at this party earlier tonight and some guy hooked me up with this incredible "X" - next thing I know I'm being thrown out of a moving car. I've been trippin' balls ever since.
Kumar : That's crazy, dude. We've been having a pretty crazy, night, too. We've just been driving around looking for White Castle but we keep getting sidetracked.
Neil Patrick Harris : Yeah, dude, you fascinate me. Forget White Castle, let's go get some pussy!
Harold : Huh?
Neil Patrick Harris : It's a fucking sausage fest in here, bros. Let's get some poontang, THEN we'll go to White Castle.
Kumar : No, Neil, you don't understand. We've been craving these burgers all night.
Neil Patrick Harris : Yeah, I've been craving burgers, too. Furburgers. Come on, dudes, let's pick up some trim at a strip club. The Doogie line always works on strippers.
[sings]
Neil Patrick Harris : Lapdance...
Kumar : [pause] There's a gas station. I'm gonaa see if I can get some directions.
Neil Patrick Harris : You don't need dir- gah! Hurry up, dudes, hurry up! I'm losing wood.
[they park, pause]
Neil Patrick Harris : Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry...
Kumar : Look, chill.
Harold : We'll be right back, Neil.
[they exit the car]
Harold : Dude, what is the deal with Neil Patrick Harris? Why is he so horny?
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Kumar : Do you know what the hell we had to go through after you took the car?
Neil Patrick Harris : Yeah, it was a dick move on my part. That's why I'm paying for your meal. Prick.
Neil Patrick Harris : [looks down to count money] Here's 50 for the meal, and 200 for the car.
Harold : What happened to my car?
Neil Patrick Harris : I made some love stains in the back. You'll see...
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Kumar : [about Doogie Howser, M.D] So, I gotta ask you Neil, did you ever get it on with Wanda off the set?
Neil Patrick Harris : Dude, I humped every piece of ass ever on that show.
Kumar : Even the chick who played the hot nurse?
Neil Patrick Harris : No... I didn't go all the way with her.
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Kumar : So where you going to go now, Neil?
Neil Patrick Harris : [puts on sunglasses] Wherever God takes me!
