Postal 2 (2003 Video Game)

Rick Hunter: The Postal Dude

Photos 

Quotes 

• The Postal Dude : Hey I'm just trying to exercise my second-amendment rights here ya fuckin' Communist!

• The Postal Dude : I know what you're thinking, but the funny thing is, I don't even LIKE videogames...

• The Postal Dude : I suppose it would have been more politically correct to kill the women and the minorities first.

• The Postal Dude : [shoots someone]  That one's for your mother!

  [shoots another person] 

  The Postal Dude : That one's for the Pope!

  [shoots another person] 

  The Postal Dude : That one's for Bobo the space-monkey!

  [shoots someone else] 

  The Postal Dude : That one's cause I have ammo left in my gun!

  [shoots last person, bells ring] 

  The Postal Dude : That one's 'cause I can!

• The Postal Dude : Bless me, Father, for I have REALLY sinned. No, really! I'm not kidding here! *Big* sinner. Yup!

• The Postal Dude : I regret nothing.

• The Postal Dude : Hi there -- would you like to sign my petition?

• The Postal Guy : Buttsauce!

• The Postal Dude : Guns don't kill people, I do!

• The Postal Dude : Here I was, just minding my own business enjoying my Second Amendment rights, and you people have to freak out on me!

• The Postal Dude : Please don't think I'm a bigot, I kill races equally...

• The Postal Dude : Only my weapon understands me.

• The Postal Dude : [after finding that it's the apocalypse in the newspaper]  Hmm... Normally, I'd expect a fancy cinematic to explain such a crucial story element. The font is nice, though.

• The Postal Dude : I was pretty hungover yesterday, but I think I remember where I work.

• The Postal Dude : [after smoking crack pipe]  This can't be good for me, but I feel great!

• The Postal Dude : [Urinating quote 1]  That's the ticket!

• The Postal Dude : [Urinating Quote 3]  Now the flowers will grow.

• The Postal Dude : You probably thought you weren't gonna die today? Surprise!

• The Postal Dude : The gene pool is stagnant and I am administering chlorine.

• The Postal Dude : [after putting on Police Uniform]  I am The Law

  [laughs evilly] 

• The Postal Dude : You probably think I'm not a nice person...

• The Postal Dude : Today's the first day of the end of your lives.

• The Postal Dude : Come on, hurry up -- don't you have minorities to oppress?

• The Postal Dude : [Urinating Quote 2]  Oh-ho-ho-hohhh, yyyy--EAAHH.

• The Postal Dude : [after being rebuffed]  You gotta be fucking KIDDING!

• The Postal Dude : [Entering Lucky Ganesh All-American grocery store]  Did somebody slaughter a goat in here? Seriously, I wanna know.

• The Postal Dude : [at the end of the game]  Honey, you won't believe the day I've had!

  Postal Dude's Wife : Did you remember my Rocky Road?

  The Postal Dude : D'oh!

  [gunshot] 

• The Postal Dude : [being arrested]  Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, just cuff me already, big man!

• The Postal Dude : [after shooting someone while you're dressed as a cop]  Someone stole my donuts, and now you're all gonna pay!

• The Postal Dude : [after smoking some catnip]  Yeah baby, I AM the lizard king!

• The Postal Dude : Ohhh, my nads!

• The Postal Dude : Ow, right in the stuff.

• The Postal Dude : [Petition signing line #2]  Look, just sign the stupid petition -- I've got stuff to do.

• The Postal Dude : Sign this petition or I'll follow you home and kill your dog!

• The Postal Dude : [Petition signing line #3]  Will you sign this petition, *or* will it be your surviving family members?

• The Postal Dude : [Entering Lucky Ganesh's shop]  *Gahd*, what is that awful stench?

• The Postal Dude : [after killing someone while dressed as a cop]  Move along!

• Vince Desi : Nothing personal, man, but you're fired.

  The Postal Dude : ...but, I just started yesterday!

• Postal Dude's Wife : And when you're done screwing around, I left a list of chores for you on the fridge!

  The Postal Dude : [*annoyed*]  Jesus, woman...