Eating Out (I) (2004)

Jim Verraros: Kyle

Photos 

Quotes 

• Caleb Peterson : What if he tries to grab me?

  Kyle : We're not pirates. We just dress like them... and chase bootie. He'll be just as nervous as you, so try not to punch him if he makes a move on you or anything...

  Caleb Peterson : You know, I don't think I'd punch him. I think I'd probably just start crying or something.

• Caleb Peterson : Man, now I really wanna be a fag.

  Kyle : You and Ricky Martin both.

• Caleb : Are you looking for Mr. Right Now?

  Kyle : Please. I'll settle for Mr. Five Minutes Ago.

• [Tiffani stands in the doorway] 

  Tiffani : I hear you have phone trouble, Miss Thing.

  Kyle : That's Mister Miss Thing to you.

  Caleb Peterson : Tiffani?

  Tiffani : You little hose huffer!

  Frank Peterson : Why don't you come join us?

  Tiffani : Gomez, Morticia, and little Wednesday.

• Caleb Peterson : Do I look gay?

  Kyle : Hmm... Like an insatiable bottom.

• Gwen Anderson : [to Caleb's parents]  You know, you guys seem really nice.

  Marc : Oh, my God. Gwen, don't.

  Gwen Anderson : Caleb, honey, I'm gonna do you a really big favor.

  Kyle : Oh, shit.

  Gwen Anderson : You'll hate me now but you'll love me later.

  Marc : Gwen, please.

  Kyle : Shit.

  Gwen Anderson : Mr. and Mrs. Peterson, your son is gay.

  Jamie Peterson : [punching Caleb's arm]  Fag, you're it!

  Tiffani : I turned him gay, but I can turn him back.

  Jamie Peterson : No fag-backs.

• Kyle : You stole my boyfriend!

  Caleb Peterson : He's not your boyfriend.

  Kyle : Oh, so now you're gay?

  Caleb Peterson : This was your idea.

  Kyle : You knew how I felt about him!

  Caleb Peterson : We're not doing anything.

  Kyle : You're going on a date!

  Caleb Peterson : That was HIS idea!

  Kyle : I've been stalking him for years; you decided to be gay for one night.

  Caleb Peterson : I'm not gay! Why don't you just tell him you like him?

  Kyle : That would be as futile as drug testing at the Gay Games.

• Kyle : Guys around here are like day-old donuts. I mean, I eat 'em because they're there, but you don't wanna invest anything in them.

• Kyle : It's for you - Blow-me-o.

• Caleb : What the hell are you making?

  Kyle : Sausages. Big. Fat. Sausages.

  Caleb : Dude, people don't eat sausages. You're supposed to make like spaghetti or some shit.

  Kyle : Fine. You wanna cook?

• Caleb Peterson : This isn't a kegger, bro. This is, like, serious. Who'd you invite?

  Kyle : Like they said to Anne Frank, why don't you answer the door and find out?

• Kyle : Being gay is more than... listening to good music and eating low-fat foods. There are certain things you have to do to convince the general public.

  Caleb Peterson : Oh. We could stage a bashing.

• Kyle : Okay, so I know I might just be a rebound or a really shitty consolation prize, or you're just really looking for an ego boost, but, whatever it is, I'll take it.