Kung Fu Hustle (2004)
Qiu Yuen: Landlady
Photos
Quotes
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Barber : Why don't you train us to be top fighters... and we'll avenge them!
Landlady : Becoming a top fighter takes time, unless you're a natural-born kung-fu genius, and they're 1 in a million.
Barber : [Does martial arts routine] It's obvious I'm the one.
Landlady : [immediately punches him in the face] Don't think so.
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Landlady : You may know kung fu... but you're still a fairy.
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Sing : All right. Now, we will sneak attack and take out that old lady.
[throws knife, knife richchets off overhang and gets Sing in his right shoulder]
Sing : Erg... Well, I'll let you try one.
[stands beside sidekick]
Sing's Sidekick : [takes knife, accidentally throws backwards, gets Sing's left shoulder]
Sing : Ack!
[stands beside sidekick]
Sing : Look, just take the knife, aim carefully, and throw.
Sing's Sidekick : [takes knife, winds back to his right, kinfe sticks Sing in his left arm, handle flys off at Landlady]
Landlady : Who threw a handle?
Sing : Quick! Take this cage of snakes and throw it at her. The snakes will all bite, and our problem will be solved.
Sing's Sidekick : [takes cage, winds back over his head, snakes fall out the back of the cage all over Sing]
Sing : You idiot! Now what am I supposed to do?
Sing's Sidekick : Try whistling. I've heard that helps.
Sing : [whistes, two snakes bite him on his lips]
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Sing : Fat woman, you're in charge here, right?
Landlady : [takes her shoe off, slaps Sing with it] Fat woman, my ass!
Sing : I'm with the Axe Gang!
Landlady : [slaps him] Axe Gang, my ass!
Sing : Boss!
Landlady : [slaps him] Boss, my ass!
Sing : You have to pay our medical bills!
Landlady : Bills, my ass!
Sing : We're on the same side!
Landlady : Same side, my ass!
Sing : A snake!
Landlady : Snake, my ass!
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Landlady : [to Tailor] What's with the red underwear?