User Reviews

"Liebe zartbitter" is a German television film from 2003, so this one is over 15 years old already now and moving closer to 20 in fact. Maybe it happened already depending on when you read this review. In any case, it is pretty shameful that this terrible film is still on national television such a long time after its initial release. It runs for 85 minutes and is thus even shorter than the usual duration for German small screen releases, which is approximately 88 minutes. The director is Austrian filmmaker Michael Kreihsl, who apparently launched his career in a decent manner quality-wise in the late 1980s and 1990s, but eventually moved on to making one weak romance film for German television after the next. Disappointing and a bit of a waste of talent too I believe, but I guess this is where the money is. The people's GEZ money that is. The writer is Evelyn Holst and for her I cannot even say that she had a solid start. Only failure in her filmography. It may sound harsh, but it's true. Good news is he has not come up with new screenplays in over a decade. According to imdb at least. There are more indicators in here that this is a completely unrealistic and unauthentic film. The production companies involved are one thing, but one that really gives them away is the fact that the lead actress is Christine Neubauer. Sigh. Once again. The woman who is a definite contender for worst German actress of all time although I must say I struggle a bit with her calling an actress because to me she has zero range or versatility and plays the same character (with a different name) in basically every movie she is in. The one thing she probably has is recognition value. In the complete absence of talent. I suppose that is the reason why she got picked for lead roles for years, if not decades. Also not too unusual that there are plays on words in these films, plays on words linked to food as the second word in the title here is a chocolate flavor. The first word obviously means "love". As for the rest of the cast, there are more familiar faces to German film buffs. The male co-lead is Peter Sattmann and I recognized his face immediately. I must also say though that he was about as bad as Neubauer and that means quite something honestly. Usually, nobody is as weak as her, but here the male co-lead makes it a really close race who gives the worst performance in the movie, especially with his constant grin. Then there's Weitzenböck, Fitz and Bademsoy. Not too much to say about them. Some of them have been in many weak films too. Weitzenböck is the best example as she plays the other woman in here. It is interesting that she was born in Japan, also she is not unattractive, but in terms of range and acting talent she is not a revelation either. Admittedly also not as bad as Neubauer, but then again nobody really is.

Now let me mention a few scenes and moments during which this film really hit rock bottom. The premise is bad enough already. Like how many times women catch their men in the act with somebody else and here they were shameless enough to even make it happen one day before the wedding. Gorgeous. Good news for the guy who played the fiancé though because this way he was out of the movie so quickly. But of course for us to understand what an amazing woman Neubauer's character is he keeps calling her and probably wants her back. But she has too much dignity and class for that. And still her mourning phase is over really quickly and she runs into the next guy. Also ridiculous how they wanted to convince us through quotes that Sattmann is really handsome. Okay. I did not buy it. And same applies for Neubauer's character. Just take a look at how everybody watches her at the pub (cringe is real) and well of course when you just lost your job one day earlier, you go to a pub and get employed by a woman you randomly run into. Makes total sense. Who needs CVs, work experience etc. I don't know if it was more sad or more funny that they were actually serious with that. The film stays that low as it goes on. Our beloved female heroine opens her own business and succeeds quickly in the bakery/cake industry. On one occasion, we find out she is even so talented that the culinary buss from the KaDeWe (a really important department store here in Berlin, known internationally due to its historical significance) shows up at her place and immediately orders a gigantic amount of baked good. Because she is so good, so talented our Christine. Haha. Think big. That much is safe. But well, if you believe anything you see in this movie, then I am not sure if there is help for you. It's not just the key plots that suck and feel all fake, but it is also the small moments. The maybe most cringeworthy moment of the entire film was when Neubauer's character is in bed with her love and the next morning she wakes up and her gay buddy enters the room and sees them together and what is on his mind? Uncover the blanket to see what the man's genital looks like. I don't even... Of course, Neubauer's character holds him back. Look how she moves like a cat there haha. Or the cringeworthy scene in the train when they are in the same train, but not in the same place. As for the ending, no prisoners taken either. The two lovebirds have a pseudo dramatic argument for the simple-minded in the audience to think they will not get together in the end, but of course they do. And not only that, after the male begs for her to forgive him, he also has nothing better to do than propose to her. I laughed so hard this moment. I mean sure marriage was still a bit of a different thing back in the early 2000s compared to what it is now (let's keep in mind more than 15% of the global/German population have died since this film got made and many old values died with them), but still it was absolutely ridiculous. Like how about first of all manage a stable relationship for a few months, maybe years, but not in this parallel reality. You bond by marrying. Epic stuff. And as if this absurdity was not enough already, the next scene we see the duo on the day of their wedding already. Sigh. Just make the ending as happy as possible. Do not even care about 1% realism right? Also, another interesting perspective to take here is the one of the unfaithful male. Look at her man from early on and how he is utterly scum compared to her new love interest. I mean the latter does not cheat on his partner on the eve of their wedding (very cringeworthy little joke by Weitzenböck's character on marriage by the way and he does not respond, he only wants to marry his Bavarian), but still. He basically dated another woman too while still being with somebody he is supposed to love. Charming stuff there really. And I guess it is okay to cheat if the one you cheat on is just a random girl and not our beloved Christine. or her character. These films are always anti-male really. Okay, almost always, but I still find it baffling. No happy ending with this review for sure. I'd rather stick with the facts. The only thing really missing in the end would have been the female protagonist pregnant. Oh well. It always could be worse I think. I hope I can forget about this movie as quickly as possible. The rating here on imdb may be low, but it is still far too high for the outcome. Absolutely not recommended. Oh and by the way, they even messed up from the food perspective: I wish I could say that at least what you saw in here in terms of the baked good would have gotten my mouth wet, but it was as bland and forgettable as everything else from this film. Just like Berlin, my city, but I hardly would have recognized from what we see in here if they hadn't mention it on one or two occasions. This movie has absolutely no soul whatsoever. Stay far, far away.