The Three Stooges (2012)
Nicole Polizzi: Snooki
Quotes
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[Foster the People's "Waste" plays throughout the montage; Larry and Curly watch Moe on "Jersey Shore" on a TV in an electronics store window]
Moe : [on "Jersey Shore"] Is that what you think? Shut up!
[Moe slaps Ronnie]
The Situation : Hey, yo!
[Moe slaps The Situation]
Moe : You, too! Here's another one!
[Moe slaps Ronnie]
Moe : [Moe sits down next to Snooki, who is reading a book] Hiya, Snook, I got you a present.
Snooki : Really? For me?
Moe : Yeah, go on, open it.
Snooki : [Snooki opens the box, and then Moe delivers a finger poke to her eyes when she discovers the box is empty] Ow!
Moe : [Moe laughs, with Curly and Larry chuckling at Moe's antics; the scene changes to Larry and Curly sleeping in a dumpster, with Curly dreaming about dancing around in a field of bubbles with Moe and Larry; the scene shifts back to Moe on the set of "Jersey Shore"] Why, you...!
Moe : [Moe slaps the side of Ronnie's face and his forehead, then he slaps The Situation's face] There you go!
Moe : [the "Jersey Shore" producers watch with delight, as Larry and Curly laugh at Moe's antics; Moe waves his hand up and down in front of JWoww's face] Why, you...
[Moe lowers his hand to the table, and quickly waves his hand up and down in JWoww's face, making a rhythmic bonking sound; Larry and Curly continue to watch Moe]
Moe : [Moe holds his fist in front of Ronnie; he hits Moe's fist, which curves upward and hits Ronnie on the head] You see that?
The Situation : [Ronnie tries to imitate Moe, only for Moe to knock Ronnie's fist back into his own face] You see that?
Moe : [Moe breaks a pool cue stick on The Situation] Business!
The Situation : Oh!
JWoww : [Moe laughs while he holds a hot curling iron on JWoww's tongue] Umph! Umph!
Moe : [Moe hits The Situation on the nose, then slaps him on the chin] Why, you...!
Moe : [Larry and Curly continue laughing at Moe's antics as Moe breaks a microwave oven over Ronnie's head, and sets the timer; Ronnie's eyes bulge out of their sockets as the electricity flows] Why, you...!
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Sammi : Now look: either you kick Moe off the show, or we're suing him!
Snooki : Like, with a lawyer!
Moe's Hip Executive : Court sounds okay to me.
Moe's Hip Executive : [to his assistant] You know, we could probably do a cross-promotion with Lockup.
Snooki : Great, just great. So basically, what you're saying is this whole show is about the ratings?
Moe's Hip Executive : Uh, yeah.
Ronnie , The Situation : Ohhh!
[Ronnie, The Situation and the other cast members groan in annoyance]
Sammi : Unbelievable.
Moe : [pointing to Snooki's "Guinness" hat] Look, just 'cause she's wearing a "genius" hat, doesn't mean she is one.
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Larry : Look, Moe, we owe you an apology.
Moe : No, fellas, I'm the one who owes you the apology. I know sometimes I tend to fly off the handle and...
Larry : No, you don't.
Moe : Yes, I do.
Curly : No, it's just that you get a little upset and...
Moe : [Moe flicks Larry and Curly on their noses, and then he slaps Larry and Curly] Shut up when I'm apologizing!
Larry : We don't have time for that! Teddy's in a jam!
Curly : Yeah, you know that woman who wanted us to take out her husband?
[Curly gasps and hisses]
Curly : She's married to Teddy!
Moe : No wonder she wanted us to smother him in his sleep!
Curly : Yeah.
Moe : I knew I smelled a...
Snooki , JWoww , Sammi : A rat! A rat! Eek!
Moe : [Moe picks up Nippy, Curly's pet rat] That's no rat, it's Nippy! How you doing, buddy? Aw, I missed you too, Nips.
Larry : Come on, we got work to do. We got to get to Teddy before his wife does.
Moe : Come on.
Curly : [Curly chuckles, and rhythmically snaps his fingers] Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk. Rrowff!
Moe : Come on, Romeo!
[Moe pulls Curly out of the studio by his ear]
Moe's Hip Executive : Are you kidding me? There's three of them?
