- [after Doris has jumped out of a fourth story window]
- Caretaker: Thank god that fat cow didn't land on anyone!
- Terkel: [on the phone, after Stewart's long song about all the childen he has helped out, nearly crying] But can't I just get a little bit of help?
- Stewart: That's right Terkel, that's just what you're going to say if your weenie suddenly catches on fire one day...
- Terkel: But...
- Stewart: ...So long, and tell your dad I'll drop in and crush his face in a few days.
- Jason: [Gunnar is lying on the ground with an iron bar buried in his forhead] He looks like a fucking giant ice lolly!
- [singing]
- Jason: I can't believe I've never seen/I can, like, not understand it/this is the first fucking time I see you
- [oooh oooh]
- Jason: /you're an awesome way to pass the time/yeah, you're the bitch in my life/like lightning, what's wrong with me?
- [woooh oooh oooh]
- Jason: I think I've been blind until today/when you suddenly looked at me and said/Fuck off and die - you're too ugly for me, and your mother goes for $100/you said it straight to my face/
- [woooh ooh]
- Jason: what do you want?/babe, I'm standing here like a nerd in a cloud of confusion/I want to be in your space/it feels so fucking wild/think of all the time I've wasted/you're all I want, I think I've been converted
- [ooh ooh]
- Jason: /and suddenly here I stand/now I can see how fine you are/and I'll get really pissed if you have a boyfriend
- [oooh oooh oooh]
- Jason: /I can only hope that you will be my girl/ and you are motherfucking fresh on it, who came and said to me/Fuck off and die - you're too ugly for me, and your mother goes for $100/you said it straight to my face/
- [woooh ooh]
- Jason: what do you want?/babe, I'm standing here like a nerd in a cloud of confusion/I want to be in your space/Fuck off and die - you're too ugly for me, and your mother goes for $100/you said it straight to my face/
- [woooh ooh]
- Jason: what do you want?/babe, I'm standing here like a nerd in a cloud of confusion/I want to be in your space...
- Jason: Are you lame or something? I don't have the fucking energy to explain it. You never know when you need a good windpipe!
- Sigge: When I was looking through my uncle's music lexicon I stumbled upon a certain word I had never heard before - "funky" - what does it mean?
- Terkel's Mum: Torkel, you're not on the ramp are you?
- Terkel: No, mum, I...
- Terkel's Mum: Well if you are then come home this instant! You know wet wood spreads SARS!