Going the Distance (2004)

Shawn Roberts: Tyler

Quotes 

• [after meeting two older cowgirl women in their motel's bar, they both invite Tyler to their room. They then tell him to lie down and surprise him by tying him up to the bed] 

  Tyler : Whatever you're doing back there, just... be careful because I bruise easy.

  Karma : What do you think, Claire? Should we use the baby carrot or the Excalibur?

  Tyler : Oh, baby carrot. Baby carrot.

  Claire : Gosh, honey, it looks like we left the carrot at home. Too bad. So very, very sad. Load me up.

  [Karma raises up the Excalibur and Claire oils it up] 

  Tyler : Oh, dear Lord.

  Tyler : [overheard by Nick and Sasha from their room moments later with sounds of Tyler's bed banging in the background]  This is great. Oh!

• [Dime and Tyler floating on surf boards in the glacial waters of a Newfoundland bay with an iceberg floating in the bay] 

  Dime : Tyler, that is an iceberg. It's a fucking iceberg!

  Tyler : No shit, man. It's awesome. Let's piss on it!

• Tyler : Remember, it's just like porn. Four positions, three minutes on each one and then go for the face.

• [as the group enters their motel's bar, an older cowgirl woman slaps Dime on his butt] 

  Dime : Cougar alert. Avert your eyes.

  Tyler : And lose this opportunity? Fuck that.

  [takes Dime back to the older woman]