- Computer: [to sleeping Stanley] Good morning. Security alert, Class 4, Number 4-7-6-3-2-9-4-3, Department 5-1-1, Level 4. This is your third wake up call. If you are late, you will receive 7 demerits. You already have 991 demerits.
- [first lines]
- Kai: I am Kai, last of the Brunnen-G. Millennia ago, the Brunnen-G led humanity to victory in the war against the Insect civilization. The Time Prophet predicted that I would be the one to destroy the Divine Order and the League of 20,000 Planets. Some day, that *will* happen. But not today, as today is my day of death. The day our story begins.
- Computer: [to sleeping Stanley] Good morning. Security alert, class 4, number 4-6-7-3-2-9-4-3, department 5-1-1, level 4. This is your third wake up call. If you are late, you will receive 7 demerits. You already have 991 demerits.
- Correction Centre Guard: [to prisoner] I've seen a lot of women in my life, and you know something? You have to be the ugliest one I've ever laid eyes on.
- Stanley H. Tweedle: But he didn't even do anything, it's just a mix-up!
- Correction Centre Guard: Life's a mix-up, huh?
- [chuckles]
- Bug bomb: Bug bomb lost head!
- His Divine Shadow: General, do you believe that time flows in a straight line?
- Cluster General: I have observed that time is continuous.
- His Divine Shadow: Major, do you believe that time travel is a certain hope? That it is possible to see into the future, rather than into the past?
- Cluster Major: I am not aware of any such divine teaching.
- Computer: Only authorized persons are admitted to the special projects highest level security area. If the system is not able to recognize your facial images from its library of unauthorized persons, your flesh will be disposed of as useful organic material and added to the protein mass.
- Stanley H. Tweedle: Jeez, does this thing have a down button?
- Thodin: Beauty such as yours must live on.
- [big kiss then shoves her away]
- Zev Bellringer: Don't leave me! Everybody always leaves me.
- 790: I will never leave you.
- Zev Bellringer: Stan, do you have any idea where we should tell the Lexx to go?
- Stanley H. Tweedle: Yes.
- Zev Bellringer: Where?
- Stanley H. Tweedle: My tooth.
- His Divine Shadow: Kill them!
- Kai: I will not do that.
- His Divine Shadow: Then kill yourself!
- Kai: I'm already dead.
- Zev Bellringer: Okay propeller-head, turn us back to the cluster.
- 790: I have no knowledge of this area, love dumpling.
- Zev Bellringer: What kind of robot are you.
- 790: I'm a robot that wants to live in your underpants.