The Longest Yard (2005)

Michael Irvin: Deacon Moss

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Deacon Moss : [Deacon and Battle pour Gatorade on Warden Hazen]  Good game, sir!

  Warden Hazen : That's a week in the hotbox!

  Joey Battle : Who gives a shit!

• Guard Dunham : [after breaking off a long run, storms up to Megget]  That's how a white man runs the football!

  Earl Megget : Man, you lucky I ain't on defense. I'd crack you in that egg-ass head of yours!

  Guard Dunham : Yeah, but you ain't on defense. Are ya, bitch?

  Earl Megget : Switowski! Come here!

  [he comes running over] 

  Earl Megget : You know what he said in the library?

  [whispers to Switowski about Dunham calling Malcolm X then "N word", as Switowski's eyes about pop out of his head] 

  Earl Megget : Yes. Him. Out!

  Switowski : [Destroys Dunham with a huge hit on the next play. Everyone gathers around to look at Dunham and sniffs]  I think I made-ed him shit himself.

  Coach Nate Scarborough : I think he just shit himself.

  All Sportswriters : I think he just shit himself.

  Stretcher Guy : Good lord, this guy shit himself big time!

  Switowski : [jumps up and down celebrating]  See! I told you i made-ed him shit himself!

  Earl Megget : [as Dunmham is being carted off the field on a stretcher]  I'll be sure to send them books to the hospital, pimp!

  Deacon Moss : And some diapers!

• Deacon Moss : The only game I'll play with you... is slap the point shaving white boy, til he cries like a baby back bitch.

  Cheeseburger Eddy : baby back bitch, baby back bitch, baby back bitch, baby back bitch.

  Caretaker : That's a big ass robot

• Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe : [On the last play of the first half]  Do you assholes remember that play we practiced in the mud?

  Deacon Moss : What are you talking about? That was some schoolyard bullshit!

  Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe : Yeah, let's try some schoolyard bullshit!

• Deacon Moss : This is baby-back bullshit!