Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical (2005 TV Movie)
Steven Weber: Jack Stone, George Washington
Photos
Quotes
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Jack Stone : Quit squawkin'. You got more static than the radio.
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[Ralph, hallucinating, opens a closet door and sees Satan sodomizing Mary]
Mary Lane : Remember me, Ralph? I've been sent to hell! A pubescent edition of Jezebel. It hurts a lot to bend! But, at least, I've made a friend.
Ralph Wiley : Shut up!
Satan : You murdered her, Ralph!
Mary Lane : Murdered me!
Ralph Wiley : Murdered you!
Jimmy : Murdered me!
Ralph Wiley : Murdered them!
Jack Stone : [to Mae] What's eating him?
Ralph Wiley : Jack! I saw Satan! And the kid. And Satan! And the girl. And *Satan*!
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Mae Coleman : The kid's a goner! They're gonna make him pay for the stuff!
Jack Stone : Here!
[hands Mae a joint]
Jack Stone : Simmer down, will ya?
Mae Coleman : I've seen my honor rolled up and burned away with the stuff! Well, it's gotta stop!
[Jack grabs her breasts from behind]
Mae Coleman : Let go of me!
Jack Stone : What? I'm trying to comfort you here.
Mae Coleman : I said, let go!
[yanks Jack's hands off her]
Mae Coleman : I should show him the door. He treats me like a whore! I don't need Jack no more or the stuff!
[throws the joint to the ground and stomps on it]
Jack Stone : [slaps her] Dumb slut, that was a half a jay of good mooter you just wasted!
Mae Coleman : I know.
[picks up a garden hoe and starts twirling it]
Jack Stone : Hey, what are you doing with that garden hoe?
Mae Coleman : Taking care of a big... fat... weed!
Jack Stone : Alright, that's it.
[takes out a gun]
Jack Stone : Say goodnight, Gracie.
[shoots, but there are no bullets]
Mae Coleman : [smirks] Goodnight, Gracie.
[hits him with the hoe]
Mae Coleman : So, this is it, Jack! Last night of ballyhoo for the stuff!
Jack Stone : Get away from me, you crazy skirt!
Mae Coleman : This one's for Ralph, Jack! This one's for Sally, too! Had enough? Yeah, you're not so tough!
[continues beating him]
Mae Coleman : You once had all the brains! Now they're just carpet stains! You're in no shape to fight my bid to make things right! 'Cause there's blood upon your necktie. Your corpus is delecti. And I have been delivered from the stuff!
[cuts out Jack's heart]
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Jack : You like Brownies? Baked 'em myself!
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Jack : [repeated] See ya in the funny papers.
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Jimmy Harper : [after eating a hashish brownie] This brownie is yummy! / It's the greatest brownie known to man! / It's chewy, it's nutty, this brownie's really good! / Don't offer me a macaroon. / My brownie suits me fine! / There's frosting on the top, and best of all it's mine!
Sally DeBains , Jack Stone , Ralph Wiley , Mae Coleman : Eat the brownie! Eat the brownie! Eat the brownie! Eat the brownie!
Jack Stone : Let's go home!
Jimmy Harper : Okay. / I shimmer electric! / I'm a one-man marching brownie band. / I love it! My brownie! / And my brownie loves me, too! / It's smooth, it's sweet, it's chocolaty. / It forms a perfect square. / And the bestest part of all, is I don't have to share.
Sally DeBains , Jack Stone , Ralph Wiley , Mae Coleman : He doesn't have to share!
Jimmy Harper : And the bestest part of all is I don't have to share!
Ralph Wiley : Eat the brownie!
Sally DeBains : Eat the brownie!
Jack Stone : Eat the brownie!
Mae Coleman : Eat the brownie!
Sally DeBains , Jack Stone , Ralph Wiley , Jimmy Harper , Mae Coleman : Yeah!
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Zombies : [singing] Open the gate and abandon hope! / We're the ghosts of the kids that got hooked on dope!
Ralph Wiley : Way down where it's hot / They are saving us a spot!
Zombies : You murdered us, Ralph! / Murdered 'em! Murdered 'em! Murdered 'em! Murdered 'em!
Ralph Wiley : Bad zombies! Shoo! Go away!
[runs inside and backs his imaginary pursuers off with a garden hoe]
Sally DeBains : He's losin' it, Jack!
Jack Stone : Gee, you don't suppose?
Mae Coleman : He's liable to crack and spill all he knows!
Sally DeBains , Mae Coleman : He's really acting weird!
Jack Stone : Perhaps it's time he disappeared / He'd never be missed / I could murder him! Murder him! Murder him! Murder him!
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Mae Coleman : Ralph? Sally? We're back! We got take-away from Dim Foo's. Sally? Ralph?
[Mae screams as Sally's disembodied head rolls down the stairs]
Ralph Wiley : [jumps down the stairs nibbling on Sally's arm. He picks up Sally's head and sings] I found me a snack, it was nice and fresh!
Lecturer , Zombies : The weed made him hungry for human flesh!
Jack Stone : Step away you mug! / 'Cause that's a brand new Persian rug!
[Ralph mockingly runs the bloody end of Sally's head on said rug]
Mae Coleman : He's not gonna stop!
Mae Coleman , Jack Stone : Murder him! Murder him! Murder him! Murder him!
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Sally DeBains : [chant] Come on, Jimmy, Come on, Jimmy, suck it down for Sally/Come on, Jimmy, come on, Jimmy, suck it down for Sally!
Jimmy : Umm... no thanks... I don't think I ought to
Sally DeBains : [chant] Come on, Jimmy, Come on, Jimmy, suck it down for Sally/Come on, Jimmy, come on, Jimmy, suck it down for Sally!
Jimmy : Um... I have to go now... thanks for having me...
Jack Stone : [chant on top of Sally] Take a toke of T-stick, Take a toke of T-stick/Take a toke of T-stick, take a toke of T-stick
Mae Coleman : [chant on top of the others] Smoke it, you make choke at first, but then the worst is over/Smoke it, you may choke at first, but then the worst is over!
Ralph Wiley : [chant on top of the others] Don't be a chicken!/Don't be a chicken!
Lecturer , Parents : [repeated on top of others] Don't, Jimmy! Don't do it! Don't be a fool!/Don't, Jimmy! Don't do it! Don't be a fool!
Sally DeBains , Jack Stone , Mae Coleman , Ralph Wiley , Lecturer , Parents : [All chants repeated several times until Jimmy takes a hit]
Lecturer , Parents : *NO*!
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Jimmy : Someone save me/There's no place to hide/From this salacious/Magic carpet ride!
Sally DeBains , Jack Stone , Mae Coleman , Ralph Wiley : Open up your mind!/Let your body soar!/Arms and legs entwined/Cry: More! More More!
Jack Stone , Ralph Wiley : If a year goes by, it might seem a day
Sally DeBains , Mae Coleman : If a day goes by, it could take a year
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Jack Stone : Dumb slut, that was half a jay of good mooter you just wasted!
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Zombies : Open the gate and abandon hope! We're the ghosts of the kids that got hooked on dope!
Mae Coleman : Now I see 'em, Jack! And they all want their childhoods back! We murdered 'em, Jack!
Mae Coleman , Zombies : Murdered 'em! Murdered 'em! Murdered 'em! Murdered 'em!
Zombies : Open the gate and abandon hope!
Jack Stone : Pull it together!
Zombies : We're the ghosts of the kids that got hooked on dope!
Jack Stone : Don't flip your skirt!
Mae Coleman : Now I see 'em, Jack!
Jack Stone : Now you do the things you gotta do...
Mae Coleman : And they all want their childhoods back!
Jack Stone : In this dog eat dog eat dog world!
Mae Coleman : We murdered 'em, Jack!
Jack Stone : Survival of the fittest! So you...
Jack Stone , Mae Coleman , Zombies : Murder 'em!
Jack Stone : Before they murder you!
Mae Coleman , Zombies : Murdered 'em! Murder! Murder! Murder! Murder! Murder! Murder! Murder!
Jack Stone : The winner is the last one left...
Jack Stone , Mae Coleman , Zombies : Alive!
