Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical (2005 TV Movie)
Kristen Bell: Mary Lane
Photos
Quotes
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Mary Lane : [singing after smoking a joint] I feel a little naughty.
Ralph Wiley : Baby I'll help you relax!
[giggles]
Mary Lane : I'll tie you up with phone cord. We'll play with whips and nipple clips and candle wax!
Ralph Wiley : Now hold on, Mary Sunshine. Let's not get carried away!
Mary Lane : Just call me Mary Juana and Mary's got some scary little games to play! I'll lather you up...
Ralph Wiley : Who, me?
Mary Lane : And give you a shave...
Ralph Wiley : *Shave*?
Mary Lane : I'll paddle you while straddling my little slave!
Ralph Wiley : Hey, now!
Mary Lane : Down on your knees! It's pointless to fight! Save your strength, it's gonna be a lengthy night!
Ralph Wiley : Help! This crazy tomato's raping me!
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Mary Lane , Ralph Wiley : [Mary has just taken her first hit] Goodbye Mary Sunshine! Reefer has blown out her mind! She's now a hot-head hussy!
Mary Lane : Don't you run! I'm not done! Can't you tell we've just begun? What's your rush? You're not having fun?
Ralph Wiley : No, I'm really not!
Mary Lane , Ralph Wiley : Mary, Mary Sunshine! Burned for, yearned for dirty life!
[Mary stuffs Ralph's mouth with an apple and straddles him]
Ralph Wiley : Mmmph?
Mary Lane : Shut up, bitch!
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Mary Lane : Say, is this a fraternity sweater? Is Jimmy hanging out with college boys?
Ralph Wiley : Why, yes, yes, he is. We at Phi Beta Cannabis were so taken with Jimmy, we decided to pledge him... early... while he's still in high school... to avoid the rush.
Mary Lane : Well, that's the bee's knees! Wait 'til that Suzy Mayberry hears about this!
Ralph Wiley : Let's celebrate... with a smoke!
Mary Lane : Hold on! This isn't that reefer I've read about, is it?
Ralph Wiley : Oh, no, of course not. This is a special cigarette. All the rage with the college girls... in Paris.
Mary Lane : Paris?
Ralph Wiley : Oh, yes.
Mary Lane : Well, if I'm going to be dating a fraternity man...
[Ralph shoves a reefer stick in her mouth]
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[Ralph, hallucinating, opens a closet door and sees Satan sodomizing Mary]
Mary Lane : Remember me, Ralph? I've been sent to hell! A pubescent edition of Jezebel. It hurts a lot to bend! But, at least, I've made a friend.
Ralph Wiley : Shut up!
Satan : You murdered her, Ralph!
Mary Lane : Murdered me!
Ralph Wiley : Murdered you!
Jimmy : Murdered me!
Ralph Wiley : Murdered them!
Jack Stone : [to Mae] What's eating him?
Ralph Wiley : Jack! I saw Satan! And the kid. And Satan! And the girl. And *Satan*!
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Mary Lane : Jimmy, what are you doing here in the middle of the night? It's almost nine p.m.!
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Mary Lane : Jimmy, is something wrong?
Jimmy : [Extremely high] Why? Should something be wrong? Stop hounding me! Stop... hounding... me!
Mary Lane : I didn't think I was, I... Oh, it's me, isn't it? You don't love me anymore. You haven't even tried to kiss in almost a week.
Jimmy : Kiss? Is *that* what you want? Let me show *you* a few new moves!
[Jimmy pushes Mary down and gags her with his tongue]
Mary Lane : [Jumps up] That was your tongue! Jimmy Harper, what's come over you?
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Jimmy Harper : I can't wait to read the ending!
Mary Lane : I can't either! But I bet it turns out real swell! I bet Romeo marries his Juliet...
Jimmy Harper : They have a baby
Mary Lane : And make lots of friends!
Mary Lane , Jimmy Harper : That's prob'ly the way the play ends!
