- Eugene Howard: How did you like the Opera?
- Willie Howard: Aw, Opera Schnopera! There wasn't a joke in it.
- Willie Howard: The way those fellas in back of me were talking, it was terrible.
- Eugene Howard: Yes?
- Willie Howard: One fella was talking about his heart, another fella was talking about his liver, one fella was talking about his lungs. That was an Opera?
- Eugene Howard: No?
- Willie Howard: That was an organ recital.
- Eugene Howard: Have you an ear for music?
- Willie Howard: A what?
- Eugene Howard: I say, have you an ear for music?
- Willie Howard: I don't know - take a look and see.
- Eugene Howard: Oh, go on!
- Willie Howard: I got a drum in there.
- Eugene Howard: You must be smart.
- Willie Howard: I should say!
- Eugene Howard: Well, how are you in arithmetic?
- Willie Howard: Very thick!
- Willie Howard: The girl I marry must be beautiful, must come from a fine family, plus be well educated, plus have plenty of money, and so on and so on.
- Eugene Howard: And so on and so on what?
- Willie Howard: Sew on a couple of buttons once in awhile.
- Eugene Howard: How did you come to go broke?
- Willie Howard: I was gambling in Wall Street - on the margins.
- Eugene Howard: On the margins.
- Willie Howard: I slipped off the margin a little bit.
- Eugene Howard: I see. Well, what were you? A bull or a bear?
- Willie Howard: I was a jack ass.
- Eugene Howard: In case you can't meet me on time, I'll give you the address of this party.
- Willie Howard: It's a good idea. You give me the address. If I'm not there, I'll wait for you.