The Love Crimes of Gillian Guess (TV Movie 2004) Poster

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4/10
Arhouse MOW
omouallem3 October 2004
Canadian director Bruce McDonald hasn't released a film since his 1996 cult classic, Hard Core Logo. He went through a series of jobs directing for television, followed by 2001's effort at a big budget film-noir, Picture Claire. The movie never saw the light of day.

Now, three years later, he makes his return with the Love Crimes of Gillian Guess, a weird comedy/action/drama/animation and at times, yes, a musical. About halfway through the film I underwent strong sensations of deja vu. I realized I had seen this movie before. A decade ago when it was called Natural Born Killers.

No, I shouldn't be too hard on this film. It is one of a kind. However it borrows from NBK's tone and style. It is based (but not really) on Canadian media sensation Gillian Guess. A bodacious, blonde juror who had an affair with the suspect on trial, an Indo-Canadian gangster. In real life, she claimed it was love. In this movie, it's all part of her lusty attraction to young hard bodies. Her nymphomania is impulsive, irresistible, and consistently funny.

Visually, Bruce McDonald is on top of his game. Each shot has been carefully chosen. Each scene filmed in its own unique way in accordance to the tone set in that moment. Flashbacks. Flashforwards. Commercial breaks. Cartoons. It tells a story that was made-for-TV in a made-for-cinematic fashion. However, regardless of its daringly original execution, nothing could save this script.

The movie does not know what it wants to be. At first it relies on flashbacks to develop characters, and then the entire third act becomes one big flashback that tells us nothing about the story. The screenwriter, Angus Fraser (Kissed, 1996) tries to wind in irrelevant moments in a far past. Moments that have little or no merit to the actual story. These flashbacks try to serve as insight into Gillian Guess, her character, her mentality. But it only serves to squash the fun and humor that was this film when it began.

The laughs are lost. The melodrama seeps in. And with just 10 minutes left, seats began to empty out and the man next to me began to snore. It became impossible for this film to climb out of its own grave. Bruce McDonald may have the tenacity to take on such a challenging story, but nothing could resurrect this back to life. Only the writer and, with a little restructuring, the editor.
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1/10
worst movie ever
vkumar24 September 2004
I just got home from seeing this film, and I have never posted a review here, but I felt it was my solemn duty to warn others: This is the worst movie I have ever seen in my life, bar none. (And I've seen Hindi films.)

I went to see this at a film festival, and I wasn't expecting much because I knew it was by a Canadian filmmaker. But I could never have imagined how bad it would turn out to be.

Every scene in this movie was poorly written and completely meaningless. The characters were either underdeveloped or, as in Gillian Guess's case, contrived to the point of nauseousness. The person I went to see this film with claimed to be physically sick as he left the theatre--and he actually likes art films. Even if you like art films don't expect to like this one. It was pure tripe, period.

"Julian, Donkey Boy" was twice as good as this film.
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1/10
What a Stupid, Stupid, Stupid movie!
sola200517 May 2007
Warning: Spoilers
This movie was all over the place and was awful. Just awful. It didn't make sense. It was poorly directed and poorly written. If you want scrambled brains for a couple hours you can watch it. It is not worth being seen by anyone. The star who played Gillian did a good job. She was a very good actress. Can't say anything else good about the movie though. It barely even told the story. At the end of the movie the words, I guess you could call it an "Epilogue" shows how things turned out, that was the only part of the movie that made sense and it wasn't even during the movie but after it was over. Why are Canadian movies so awful?? I don't get it!
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