The Lost Stallions (Video 2003) Poster

(2003 Video)

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1/10
...and to think there's a "special edition" DVD of this somewhere!
BrettErikJohnson4 March 2005
I'd like to start this off with a disclaimer. The version I saw was the widely distributed "Sterling Family Classic" DVD. The, ahem, director of this movie stated on the commentary track(!) that there is a "saucier" edition of this film available and the one I was viewing was watered down in order to be appropriate for a larger audience. Yeah. Whatever. At least that explains why the words sometimes didn't match the actors' mouths.

The film has the nerve to compare itself to "Stand By Me". That would be like saying Mr. Summerfield's "Sleepy Hollow High" is comparable to "The Shining". Not by any stretch of the imagination Kevin! Anyway, the plot consists of four pathetic teens wandering around a sleepy little town in North Carolina in search of some prized stallions. Evidently the owner can't be bothered with rounding them up himself so he has offered a generous reward to whoever captures them. Sounds like an instant family classic doesn't it? Of course, as in any film with a dearth of novel ideas, this one relies on body functions for some hoped-for laughs. Not just one, but two characters entertain us by passing gas. A guy flicks snot on one of the teens in one scene and in yet another scene we get to see someone slip in a pile of vomit. Oh boy! I really enjoyed the seemingly endless part of the film where one of the boys kills a garter snake for no reason other than to pad the running time of the film. Speaking of running time, the movie is a mere 74 minutes with a stunning 13+ minutes devoted to a blooper reel interspersed with the end credits.

If you enjoy watching four ignorant, whiny teens walk around (including the obligatory one with an inhaler for his asthma...oh my) then be my guest and waste away your life on this film. I would almost recommend it for this one ludicrous scene where one of the guys falls into a shallow stream. We are supposed to believe it is a raging rapid that is carrying him away to his impending doom. It all could've ended if the kid just put his feet down and stood up but...nooooo! Instead, he lazily drifts downstream while his two buddies chase after him BY RUNNING IN THE STREAM BEHIND HIM! Sorry about the CAPS there but honestly...I just thought I was gonna die watching that. Unfortunately I lived long enough to see the rest of the film. 1/10
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1/10
Painful to get through this film
curtis-broderick-116 September 2006
This review also was from the Sterling Family Horse Hockey Edition. You would think this film was a joke between two producers. I thought, "gee, here is a good clean looking film for the kids." My 13 year old afterwards said, "There was no story." I say, "there are no actors". Surely the adults and kids in this film did this in their free time for no pay. It is like your friends down the street got together and said, "We're gonna make a movie." And this is the result you would get. Writing, acting, directing, and editing that is so amateur, that you'd think it was a college student's project. No, wait, a high school student's project. Favorite cliché idea among the many, kid 1:"Look, those hillbillies are so poor, they have nothing." kid 2:"Yeah, but they are so happy." no, no, wait, there was a better one at the end which you have to watch in order to believe they actually wrote that stuff! I warn you though, you'll have a very difficult time finishing this film. It'll be difficult not to walk out of the room and do something more interesting like cleaning your bathroom. In all honesty, it could be used for the 8 and below age group as a time killer. So it does have some value.
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1/10
Words escape me.....
alias7478 January 2006
I honestly have to say this has to be the stupidest movie I have ever seen. And I didn't even watch the whole thing, I only saw about 15 minutes of it. The acting is sooooo terrible. It's more than scraping the bottom of the barrel, it blew through the bottom of it. It doesn't get much worse than this folks. The main kid that you see introduced at the beginning of the movie has a 12 word vocabulary consisting of: Shut Up!, Idiot!, Moron! and "Egotestical". All of which when said are very overly acted in the worst possible sense. "Ego-testical"? That is not even funny, utterly pathetic. Well maybe it might entertain my 7-year old little sister, just because she doesn't know any better. I have seen some real suckfests in my day, but this one takes the cake by far.

In recap: Keeeerch.... Pilot to co-pilot, looking for brain activity in this movie, no sign of it...
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1/10
So bad it's funny
marfotic27 November 2006
My kids told me that I actually bought this movie at Wal-Mart a few years ago. Honestly, I really wish I had the money back, even if it's only a dollar. To say that this is a bad movie is putting it mildly. I think the fact that even after three years, most of the actors have never done another film is also telling. Even though it's a bad film (terrible script, even worse acting), my teenagers like watching it so they can laugh at it. You know the acting is bad when teenagers don't even like it.

Perhaps the worst acting performance is by the ex-con, who is also looking for the horses. I don't know his name, but he has got to be the absolute worst actor in the film. I'm sure he can do something, but acting ain't it.

Having said all that, I will say that to its credit, there is some beautiful scenery in the film. Well, there's always something good in everything, right?
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10/10
four kids set out to save some horses that were stolen
southernpeachpit22 August 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I have to admit that I am not a huge fan of horse movies. You know, The Horse Whisperer and Black Beauty, I have never been real partial to. But I always did love My Little Pony. So, I was looking for a movie to rent on a lonely Saturday night. And a friend had it sitting in their living room. They claimed that they rented it for the kids, but that the kids left after 15 minutes. So, I decided to borrow it anyways and see if kids really do know best. Well, they don't. It was spectacular. The acting was excellent. The suspense was exhilarating. You didn't know what would happen to these four, perfectly portrayed teens. While the movie comes off as bad young actors looking for their Hollywood shot, it is really good young actors who have absolutely found their calling in life. Excellent job. And I highly recommend this movie.
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10/10
Barron is a STAR
tvg-42 September 2008
this is simply one of the greatest films of all time. Kevin Summerfield is a genius of film-making, a god of the industry who makes Hitchcock, Kubrick, and Allen appear amateur at best. but if Summerfield's godlike ability to create cinematic art is deemed inspirational, then Evan Barron's performance as lead actor must be described as no less than utterly ORGASMIC. his charming, boyish character dances across the screen in a fashion that will have children laughing and housewives heating up. Barron's performance is sensational. Sensationally sensational. if there is one movie that you should see before you die it is THE LOST STALLIONS. you will laugh, you will cry, you will adopt an entirely new outlook on life, but above all, you will FALL IN LOVE WITH EVAN BARRON.

SEE THIS MOVIE
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10/10
A site to behold
qgjcrjpuw3 December 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Guys, hillbillies are happy too. Parent stuff is hard. But hillbillies, horses, friendship, and money teach us we can be happy and fix all our problems. Witnessing the sheer unawareness of this cast and crew is a site to behold. I watch this as often as I can with my family, always finding new Easter eggs of lazy cinema-making in each scene. Truly one of the most entertaining past times.
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10/10
I Love the movie.....
allieangel88210 November 2005
...Well the movie itself wasn't that great but the kids did a good job with what they had to work with. Seriously its not the actors fault that the plot sucked and that the voice overs didn't match the speed of the film at points. Evan Barron(Rob) is a much better actor than this film, I would know, I've worked with him for almost two years and we have been friends for much longer. Personally I would recommend this particular film to Children ages 3-11. A family friend of mine has two daughters ages 11 and 8 and they watch it over and over again. My 4-year-old brother loves it, he even quotes it. Its also a great film to have inside jokes with your friends about. Its definitely an interesting film and a good one compared to some movies I've seen. I hope this Helped!!
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