Death Train (TV Movie 2005) Poster

(2005 TV Movie)

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3/10
Waste of time
Dragonfly723 May 2006
It's sad but true, this movie is just a waste of money. Don't get me wrong, I've seen movies which were far more worse. But this flick is just poorly written and badly directed. The action and fight scenes look cheap and most of the acting is poor, due to the actors or the director I can't decide. There are only two reasons to watch this movie - Steve Nicolson and Arnold Vosloo. No outstanding performances, the script is simply to mediocre for that, but both deliver their parts dependably and professional. If you like these two actors and don't expect too much, you'll be entertained anyhow. But make sure, you have enough Chips or Popcorn with you, in case that you get bored.
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4/10
The daughter of the devil is approaching.
lastliberal20 November 2008
I have to think hard here. have I seen another action film about a train that poses a threat to the world if it is not stopped? Is there another train film where all of the passengers are threatened? Hmm, I just watched Midnight Meat train and Night Train Murders. Those certainly had some real terror on the train.

If you have seen Steven Segal's film where he tried to stop the bad guys on a train, you have seen this one. I seem to recall that Jean Claude even did one called Derailed. There was even another 2001 film called Death Train set in Mexico.

We have been trained to death and I don't think we need another. This was mildly interesting. We did have the daughter of the devil dressed as a nun. A little nunsploitation there.

There was also the cute kid angle, and the soldier who was tired of war and became a monk. Didn't Rambo do that, too?

I enjoyed Stephan Bieker, but that was the only character that interested me. There was good stunt work, lots of explosions and some good martial arts action, but that doesn't compensate for a poor script, and we've seen it all before

Secret agents for God? Give me a break.
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5/10
Could have been worse
sealyme0126 September 2007
It's not a terrible film. It just isn't that good either. The constant slow-motion throughout every action sequence was incredibly frustrating. The scenes were a bit disjointed at time: just as I thought a scene was actually going to add something useful to the story, it'd jump to another little snippet. In saying that though there were some entertaining moments and hey, who doesn't find kung-fu religion-protecting monks entertaining?

Other than being a little frustrating with just how much better the movie could've been given the reasonable-ish story line and the odd explosion, not too bad a movie. Worth watching if you're procrastinating from doing more useful things
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7/10
Excitement! Laughs! You know, ...for kids!
silvrdal1 February 2010
Even though I'm not Catholic, I weary of movies that bash them or portray their clergy or adherents in the worst possible light. 'Lasko: Death Train' is charmingly pro-Catholic, and a lot of fun.

What could be more enjoyable for Catholic 9 to 15-year olds than to see kung-fu monks try and stop mercenaries from distributing a deadly stolen virus on a train of pilgrims bound for Lourdes to see the Pope? For what it is, this movie is relatively safe for young people -- only a smidgen of vulgar language, very little blood, and nothing prurient. Classroom teachers should feel pretty safe about showing it to students.

The editing, music, cinematography, pacing, etc. are all very good. Okay, so the dialogue sounds like it came out a Japanese animated film at times, but kids won't care. There won't be anything new here for action flick fans, but what is here is handled carefully and done well.

I liked it. Kids will enjoy it, too.
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8/10
Damn good action flick... Maybe not the most original, but fun...
vibrationsofdoom21 March 2009
I totally enjoyed this movie. It's a shame when people nitpick over little details. Let's all remember WHY we go to the movies in the first place: we want to believe that there's a happy ending, that there's a crazy, action packed setting where lots of unbelievable things happen. Explosions galore in this one! Lots of cars getting blown up (how crazy was the timing on the hummer driving RIGHT past the truck that the villain had stuck a detonator to?), helicopters smashing into trains... It's a miracle the train survived as long as it did! The only thing that puzzles me is how a train has a "ventilation system" that runs throughout all the cars in sequence. Lots of great martial arts, and a rather interesting storyline. The strong arm of the Vatican? Interesting plot line and sorry, but you don't see a whole slew of movies based on "death trains." The characters were believable, and there were a few humorous moments, most notably the atypical heavyset monk, and the main villain calling himself Lucifer. If you want non stop action, this movie delivers; it has you on the edge of your seat until the very end. I highly recommend it.
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6/10
Vatican Special Ops
Pat10023 May 2008
Well, the theme is a bit different! And Il Papa has a cameo! Must be the habits, but I did find myself thinking "I'm sure Cadfael wouldn't have done that" but I suppose that technology has moved on since his time.

I thought the action was pretty good. Some good stunts. How did they do that amazing explosion? The story held together well with no glaring plot holes.

I suppose that there really must be some hard-headed Vatican clerics who have to plan realistically for security and logistics behind the scenes of such events as Lourdes.

Some of the human interest bits that were pasted on to flesh out the hero were rather wince-worthy. And he was a little too cherubic for my liking. As was the boy. And folk demanding coffee from their underlings.

Overall, I thought it was a well acted, all-action thriller - just a shame that the cloying bits were not edited out.
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7/10
Another First Class Action Concept Film!
rossboyask4 September 2006
Great action film all round really. Saw this at Cannes 2005 and had a blast watching it and it was a class touch getting Arnold Vosloo to play the lead villain. My only complaint is that the lead character played by the highly versatile Mathis Landwehr does not get to demonstrate as much of his martial arts ability as he did in Kampfansage. However, the crashing explosion at the end of the film must be one of the largest i've ever seen in all my years. A genuine spectacle. Great fun from start to finish, and it's great to see an Action Concept film making the leap to English language. Although I generally like subtitled films myself, this will hopefully ensure that their films will be seen in more territories worldwide. Well worth seeking out.
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Rather good action and characters
georgegauthier2 June 2008
This was a pretty good action movie with believable characters, given the genre. The ex- soldier Lasko sick of death and hiding out in a monastery (Mathis Landwehr) reluctantly takes up the gauntlet to be the Vatican's point man in a struggle against terrorists centered on a train bearing pilgrims from Cologne Germany to Lourdes.

You also have a deadly virus, helicopters, explosions, martial arts fights in and on top of the moving train, rockets, guns, knives, the works. Pretty good pyrotechnics too. The single most unbelievable thing in the plot is when a henchman parks his truck right across the tracks while waiting to pick up the bad guys, anticipating the train will stop before it hits him, thinking the bad guys control the engine. I cannot believe anyone would not simply have parked a few meters away, just off the tracks. Too stupid to believe even of idiots.

I could more readily swallow Vatican secret agents than that incident, though who knows. There were military orders of monks during the crusades.

Mathis Landwehr looks to be in great shape in the early scenes when he is shirtless. He has a fine physique: lean but muscular and looks completely believable as a martial artist.

I hope they do a sequel, as the title suggests. In English it was Lasko:Death Train. That suggests Lasko: the Next Adventure. I would watch it.
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7/10
A decent low-intensity action flick; remarkable because
darkangel_526 January 2007
It was guilty of something fairly rare in action films: it had really good character development and a parade of characters centering on a situation instead of the "unstoppable fighter" persona so often seen in American films.

The action in this movie is second to the clockwork of characters acting within the situation they find themselves in, and I think that is what causes the lower ratings this movie gets at present. People are expecting a popcorn chewing, Stephen Segalesque brainless smack-fest and instead are treated to a decent cerebral thriller. With a very subtle sense of humor. (An instrumental "Sympathy for the Devil" by the Stones begins playing when Lennart says "Just call me Lucifer", for example.)

So the tension builds very early in the film to a warble and never relents until the very end. The peaks and valleys seen in contemporary writing are refreshingly absent here. The pace reminded me of some of the older, really good, espionage films of the '70s and early '80s.

Continuing the good; there weren't any cartoonishly evil characters nor sparkling ridiculous good guys. I could believe that Lennart (Arnold Vosloo) might've had a wife and kids to go home to. They all seemed "alive".

In fact, all the actors presented decent performances and the only one that stands out is Stephan Bieker. Stephan takes over every scene he's in and I think he's going to be a great actor.

However, the film isn't perfect, and its largest flaw is that of having too much story to cover in a short time. I felt that it could've easily been a 3 hour movie, and if it were filmed in the same manner, it'd have been a *great* film.

In short; the movie was a good effort, and it provided a really cool story with neat characters, but was ultimately too "smart" for an action flick and too short to tell the tale that needed to be spun. 6.5/10.
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