- Patrick Simmons: I don't think Phillipa would try and be funny. She hasn't smiled since Goebbels poisoned his children.
- Amy Murgatroyd: What do you think it means?
- Lizzie Hinchcliffe: It means going round to Letitia Blacklock's and having bad sherry - that's what it means - and then having to pretend to murder one of the neighbours.
- Amy Murgatroyd: And will the lights suddenly go out?
- Lizzie Hinchcliffe: Well, that's usually the form.
- Amy Murgatroyd: And will there be screaming?
- Lizzie Hinchcliffe: Well, if you've got anything to do with it, yes, I expect so.
- Dora Bunner: Like when you put a hedgehog in Mitzi's bed.
- Patrick Simmons: I was only trying to cheer her up.
- Mitzi Kosinski: Like this morning, you try to cheer me up when you tell me I can't boil an egg.
- Lizzie Hinchcliffe: [referring to advertisement] A what?
- Amy Murgatroyd: A marriage!
- Lizzie Hinchcliffe: [looks at newspaper] A murder.
- Amy Murgatroyd: A murder! And it's today, this is even more exciting.