Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (2005)

Steve Martin: Tom Baker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tom Baker : What do you do for a living Eliot?

  Eliot : Well... I'm in 8th grade.

• [from trailer] 

  Kate 'Mom' Baker : Honey you actually bought that shirt?

  Tom Baker : Hey every dad is entitled to one hideous shirt, and one horrible sweater. It's part of the dad code.

• Lorraine Baker : You know how I feel about camping.

  Tom Baker : But, we're staying in a house.

  Lorraine Baker : A house with no air conditioning. That makes it camping.

• Tom Baker : Tire swing ready!

  [falls off tire swing] 

  Tom Baker : Tire swing, not ready!

• Lorraine Baker : Still smells the same. Old gross stuff, dead animals, and murky lake water.

  Tom Baker : It's called fresh air sweetie.

• [from trailer] 

  Tom Baker : That's not gonna fit in your tent, Lorraine.

  Lorraine Baker : Oh, I'm gonna make it fit, Dad!

• Nigel Baker : Winnetka? That's my middle name.

  Kyle Baker : And Lake is mine.

  Tom Baker : That's because you were conceived there.

  Nigel Baker : What's that mean?

  Jessica Baker : It means mom and dad had...

  Kate 'Mom' Baker : ...a conversation, that we would discuss it much later when everybody could understand!

• Tom Baker : [to his newborn grandson]  Tom. Hey, Tom. Welcome to family.

• Tom Baker : [Getting tickets]  One please.

  Tom Baker : [Goes inside the theater and runs into Jimmy]  What are you doing here?

  Jimmy Murtaugh : Well, if you must know, I'm still here to make sure this movie is appropriate for our children.

  Tom Baker : It's rated G.

  Theatre Patron : [to Tom]  Shh.

  Old Lay in Theater : Shh.

  Kid in Theater : [to Tom]  Sir, could you please sit down?

  Tom Baker : [Whispers]  Yeah.

  Jimmy Murtaugh : What are you doing here so early?

  Tom Baker : Father of the daughter always arrives early for pickup duty, everybody knows that.

  Security Guard : [Waves his flashlight at Tom and Jimmy]  Excuse me... . is there a problem here?

  Jimmy Murtaugh : Yes, this man's harassing me.

  Tom Baker : This man's guilty of overparenting.

  Security Guard : If you 2 can't keep it down, I'm gonna throw both of you out.

  Jimmy Murtaugh : [He and Tom both see Sarah and Eliot down through the balcony and attempt to be nosy]  What, he's stretching.

  Tom Baker : He's doing the move.

  Jimmy Murtaugh : What move?

  Tom Baker : [Scoots Jimmy back]  You sit in the theater. You fake a yaaaaawn... . oh boy, am I tired? Hand comes over. Then a little while later, head comes over giving an extra reach there, right?

  Theatre Patron : [Grinning as she sees Tom and Jimmy]  Mom, look... .. those 2 down there.

  Tom Baker : See what I mean?

  Old Lay in Theater : Oh, sweet Jesus.

  Security Guard : [Waves flashlight again at them]  Warning number 2.

  Jimmy Murtaugh : He was showing me the move. Do you mind?

  Tom Baker : [Places his hand off Jimmy's shoulder]  You don't know the move?

  Jimmy Murtaugh : No, I don't know the move! I wasn't a hormone crazed romeo when I was a kid! I am self-control, I am social sophistication!

  Old Lay in Theater : Psst... be quiet down there!

  Tom Baker : Your son has raging hormones like every other male teenager.

  Jimmy Murtaugh : Meaning what?

  Tom Baker : Meaning on a sophistication scale, that's 1 step above ape.

  Jimmy Murtaugh : Are you calling my son an ape?

  Tom Baker : He's an ape like every other male teenager.

  Jimmy Murtaugh : Take it back! Take it! Take it back.

  Tom Baker : Were you gonna poke me?

  Jimmy Murtaugh : Because you were asking for it!

  Tom Baker : [He and Jimmy stand up, blocking the theater screen. Everybody furiously tells them to sit down]  Well if I'm asking for it, why don't you give me 2? Come on, give me a poke!