User Reviews

It's not worth going on too long about this semi-supernatural thriller. The young, cute, predatory-looking blond Izabella Miko attends the funeral of her erstwhile best friend at a remote New England estate ruled by Miko's ex lover, Austin Nichols as Roderick Usher.

The two of them are rather gloomy. I mean, what with the suicide of the best friend and all. The atmosphere isn't helped by the presence of the housekeeper, Beth Grant, made up like a vampire, so much so that Madonna would look like a fresh-faced virgin beside her.

The general air of dread doesn't keep Miko from spending a lot of time wandering about the mansion in her underwear. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with that. I do it all the time myself. The problem is that these scenes are the highlights of the film! This is worse than Edgar Allan Poe's worst hang over. The photography is atmospheric enough and the location aptly chosen but everything else seems slapped together. It resembles a carefully conceived feature film the way a child's rolled-together limbs and torso made of clay, topped by a tiny ball of a head, resembles a human being.

Nobody in it can act, but -- that aside -- the story itself makes no sense. Edgar wouldn't have cared too much about that, but he had other things going for him, whereas this has only Miko's buns. Of the three principles, Miko is least bad, Nichols is well into negative territory, and Grant's every utterance reminds us that she's trying to act in a movie.

At first, after doing her grief work, Miko comes on the Nichols, smooching him up, her wide-open lips revealing glistening incisors of frightening dimensions. He demurs. His neurasthenia prevents him from responding. Later, when she arranges matters less formally and straddles his lap, he apologies because he still can't perform. There is another murky scene in which she toys with the belt of his robe. Next thing -- pow! -- she's pregnant with twins. What is this, coitus interruptus without the coitus? The least the director could do is throw us an explicit and climactic scene of strenuous coupling.

"Neurasthenia," the mysterious disease from which Roderick Usher suffers, is an old-fashioned term, current enough in Freud's period of disorganized nomenclature. It was used to refer to what we might call chronic fatigue today, combined with a little attention-getting irritability.

But why am I going on about neurasthenia, you ask? Because I think I caught it from this movie. I notice it particularly in regard to my black cat, Pluto, a fiend from hell. I keep telling him, "Just keep it up, that's all." But does he listen?

I love horror movies and I am very fond of anything based even vaguely on Poe. So, I settled down happily with a bowl of popcorn to watch this movie.

At first it had all the things that make a horror freak happy. There was a gloomy house, an equally gloomy housekeeper with dire warnings, and a mysterious figure seem at twilight and hiding in shadows.

And at first, pieces of the movie seem to be in place. Main character girl instead of traditional male: nice twist. Hints that she had a sexual past with both the Usher twins: interesting update. Male Usher twin obsessive sexual interest in her: nicely creepy. Usher twin getting her pregnant and locking her in the house: again nicely creepy.

And then it happens. Main character finds family photos. She sees that for the past seven generations the family has produced a set of male and female twins. She mutters something in a horrified voice which cannot be understood no matter how often the movie is replayed.

This something is enough for the housekeeper(who would you'd think, know the "curse" all along) to suddenly say the family is cursed, to try to end the main character's pregnancy, and to try to kill the male twin. There is running and screaming and people dying, with the viewer with no idea WHY. There is a "twist" ending which makes no sense, again because the "curse" is unknown, and if the main character does supposedly know it, why is she happily having the babies?

The visuals are good in the movie, the director is fairly good, the early creep factor at a decent level but because of the ending I can't give this movie a good rating.

"The House of Usher" is a bland, boring barely horror.

**SPOILERS**

Heartbroken over their break-up, Jill Michaelson, (Izabella Miko) is invited go back to Roderick Usher, (Austin Nichols) at his house, where they attend the funeral of a close friend. After the services, they realize how they've drifted apart and decide to stay the weekend to catch up. The more time they spend together, the closer they become until he reveals he suffers from an acute cell disease that renders him ill and weak. Thinking something more might be going on, she stays by his side where she learns the dreaded secret he was hiding and tries to get away from the mansion.

The Good News: This one barely qualifies as a horror film, but the few that are related help it nicely. The ghost scenes near the middle section generates a couple of rather nice shock scenes, especially in the walk outside. That's a solid scare and helps the film out. There's a nice atmosphere derived from the house, as there's an attempt for it to be somewhat centered around old-school Gothic ideals about the setting, but there's also the really great design that also works nicely for this. The only other area to work is the finale, which has a lot to like. It's the closest to actually having some excitement with some nice chasing through the house, a couple good moments in the attic as well as the deprivation tank, and along with the film's sole appearance of violence as well as the great revelation scene, make this one's finale its best scene, as well as all of the good parts from the film as a whole.

The Bad News: This here was a pretty below-average horror film, mainly for one large reason. For the majority of the film, it refuses to be like a horror film and instead acts like a drama about the family's disease. There's rarely any mention of anything horrific happening, which could've been gold with the disease plot-line already in place for it. This had the deadly, degenerative disease angle ready to go, using it to throw symptoms his way and forcing the stay to take care of him, but here they keep it a mystery and go for the romance and drama angle, which is plain weak. The other part that's weak is that this gives the film no scares, which if done the real Gothic route combined with the dangerous disease angle would've made this one entertaining, instead there's large sections, which consists of mainly the first hour of the film with absolutely nothing of interest, which is a really bad sign. None of the other flaws can overcome this, although there isn't much else since there's very little else to the film.

The Final Verdict: Pretty dreadful horror-drama that has very little about it that's worthwhile or even interesting, leaving it as a really lacking viewing. Really only watch this one if you're into the horror-drama side or are looking for something to kill an hour with, otherwise just leave this one alone.

Rated R: Violence and a sex scene

The House of Usher starts as psychical therapist Jill Michaelson (Izabella Miko) receives th sad news that one of her best friends, Maddeline Usher (Danielle McCarthy), has died. Jill travels to the huge ancestral home of the Usher's to attend the funeral & see Maddeline's brother Rick Usher (Austin Nichols), Ricks tells Jill that Maddeline died from a mysterious illness & that he now has that illness & persuades Jill to stay despite warning from the caretaker Mrs. Thatcher (Beth Grant) that she should leave as soon as possible. While staying at the Usher mansion Jill keeps seeing quick glimpses of Maddeline, is i her imagination or is something more sinister afoot? Then Jill begins to research the Usher family & discovers a ancient curse that is the real reason behind Rick wanting her to stay...

Directed by Hayley Cloake & supposedly based on the short story by horror author Adgar Allan Poe this confusing mess of a thriller is surely a contender for the worst Poe adaptation ever with it's slow moving & badly plotted story & lack of any atmosphere or horror or shocks. The script is the biggest problem here, even though the first hour or so drags badly & might put you to sleep you can at least follow it but once Jill finds out about the curse it's all downhill. For a start it's never made clear what the curse is, are we supposed to understand it from a scene showing Jill laying Usher family photo's on the floor? Jill never says anything so how are we supposed to know the significance? I assume that since the Usher family tree doesn't 'branch' the curse is that they are all inbred & each set of new born twins will have sex & produce another set of twins who have sex & then, well you get the idea. Then there's Maddeline, OK so she isn't dead but why is she hiding in the attic? Who did they bury in the funeral scene? Why did she then kill Rick? Why not kill Rick before Jill even arrived? Why not make her presence known to Jill? Why not say anything to Jill? What was Mrs. Thatcher all about? If she wanted to end the Usher curse why suddenly decide to do it now? Why commit suicide when she had failed? Why not see her plan out? The entire climax is an absolute mess, I mean whose blood was that on the floor leading to the attic? Even though we take an educated guess at what was going on nothing quite fits, it's just bad scripting that leaves the viewer cheated & frustrated. The obligatory twist ending has Jill pregnant with twins that kiss each other in her womb(!) so I guess that implies the curse will continue, well that's fine with me just as long as they don't make any more awful films about it.

Despite being based on a rich short story this adaption of The Fall of the House of Usher is so bland & dull I can barely remember anything about it, the Roger Corman directed The Fall of the House of Usher starring Vincent Price is so colourful & atmospheric & a joy to watch visually unlike The House of Usher here which is the complete opposite with dull colours & a very plain indistinct house for the setting. The plot is as boring as the bland visuals. There's no horror here, there are no scares or gore & The House of Usher plays more like the most tepid thriller you can imagine.

With a supposed budget of about $130,000 the budget was low which is why there's only five people in it I suppose. Apparently filmed in Massachusetts. The acting is alright, I didn't think it was that good or that bad either way.

The House of Usher is a terrible thriller, it takes a rich source & ruins it. It's slow, boring & confusing with a poorly written script that whichever way you look at it just doesn't make much sense. No horror, no scares & no gore also help sink this anaemic tepid little thriller without trace.

*** CONTAINS SPOILERS *** The main character serves as the narrator in the Poe story. Unfortunately, in that short story, the character is a man; but, in this version of the story, the role is given to a young woman. She is a former lover of Roderick, instead of a childhood friend.

Except for that one difference; and, a few modern contrivances (like the isolation tank), the story is incredibly faithful to the Poe story… well, and the family curse is changed here too.

But, more on that later.

The role of the narrator is to act as an observer through which we see the story unfold. This helps us build empathy with the character, without all the messy foreshadowing and flashbacks that would have happened, had we seen the movie through Roderick's or Maddie's eyes.

Given that perspective, I think the acting is very good; and, I think the casting was brilliant. Austin Nichols plays the role of Roderick to a tee – embodying the twisted perceptions, hyper-sensitivity (suffering from Neurasthenia), and photo sensitivity brilliantly. In the Roger Corman version; which I think is the definitive telling of the Poe story, Vincent Price never could have (nor should have) done as well.

And, Izabella Miko is an absolute delight. Not just for the eyes, because there's plenty there to see; but, she also builds the suspense incredibly well as Jill Michaelson. As the events unfold around this young woman; and, as Roderick and Mrs. Thatcher (played brilliantly by Beth Grant) begin to manipulate her reality, she reacts honestly and credibly.

The Usher family's secret is a curse indeed! As Jill said, "They are all one line." Brother and sister as parents of the next line of twins… and, all suffering the same family curse. However, the secret is revealed when Jill takes down the family pictures -- parents have twins and those twins have twins and those twins have twins... All you have to do is listen to the names as she reads them off.

However, as Roderick's book unfolds with the movie, we find out that Jill is there as a surrogate for Maddie, who went insane because of the incest. And, Roderick and Thatcher are trying to keep her hidden; she's not dead at all! In this telling, she is trying to prevent the curse from going on - WOW, what a twist on Poe, with re-curring themes of being buried alive!

OKAY, now watch the rest of the movie, because the last 15-to-20 minutes make it all worthwhile.

On July 13, 2008, "scpenn" wrote here that THE HOUSE OF USHER (2006) "was like something out of the far left wing of the democratic (sic) party." At first I was mystified by this remark, as I had not observed a political bent to the left OR right on my initial viewing. Fortunately, I hadn't yet returned this flick to the video store, so I was able to watch it again at 1/16th speed. In so doing, the following amazing plot twists were revealed in a nefarious series of subliminal images and subtitles:

1)A draft-dodging coke-head buffoon uses a soon-to-"suicide" Enron bag-man from the state that lost the Alamo to keep-the-slaves slaves (!) to bribe the U.S. Supreme Court for a White House apartment. 2)Promising to be "uniter-not-a-divider," this bush-leaguer unites the Confederates, Nazis, and House of the Rising Sun under one bloody flag to take all the blue-state middle class jobs and tax dollars and give them to red state billionaires and foreign sheikhs. 3)Hearing his oil buddies were upset at making profits in only the billions when gasoline sold for 89 cents a gallon under his predecessor, the poison shrub engineers a series of catastrophes which boost oil firm executive compensation alone into the billions, while bringing down the U.S. economy on five-buck-a-gallon gas and getting more than a million people killed, including 10,000 Americans. Viewed at this speed, USHER is the most chilling horror flick ever!