South Park (TV Series)

The Passion of the Jew (2004)

Matt Stone: Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick, Ticket Vendor, Terrance, Cinema Patron #1, Jack Garrat, Priest Maxi, Gerald Broflovski, Jew #2, Jew #4, Bus Driver

Quotes 

• [after seeing The Passion of the Christ] 

  Stan : Hey, we want our money back.

  Ticket Seller : Huh?

  Stan : That movie sucked ass. Give us back our $18.

  Ticket Seller : I can't refund your money. You sat through the whole movie.

  Stan : That wasn't a movie. That was a snuff film.

  Kenny : [muffled]  Yeah.

  Stan : You can't charge people to watch a guy get tortured for two hours.

  Ticket Seller : That guy happens to be Jesus and he went through all that to pay for your sins.

  Stan : We go to church to learn that stuff. We go to movies to be entertained. We weren't entertained and we want our money back!

  Ticket Seller : I'm not allowed to give your money back after you've sat through the whole movie. You'd have to take your complaint up with the film's producers.

  Stan : What, Mel Gibson? You're saying we have to get our money back from Mel Gibson?

  Ticket Seller : Yeah, I'd like to see you try.

  Stan : Oh, we will. This is America, and in America, if something sucks, you're supposed to be able to get your money back!

• Man : Hold me.

  [coughs] 

  Man : There is no hope now, you must get out of here.

  Kyle : We can't leave without you!

  Man : It's okay, I'm done for.

  Kyle : No! We can't leave without you! We don't know where the hell we are!