"Hengstparade" is a German television film from 2005, so this one has its 15th anniversary this year already and this is absolutely no date to be happy or proud of by any means, but a shocking fact that this terrible 1.5-hour film is still shown nowadays on television here in my country, on national television even. The title means "Stallion parade" or "Stud parade" I kid you not, although it must be said that the filmmakers are not to be blamed for this because this is the title of the novel that served as the basis for this movie. Of course, the filmmakers can still be blamed for agreeing on this mess of a movie and honestly I feel pretty safe that, without having read it, the book this is based on is just as terrible as the film we have here. Gaby Hauptmann is the writer in charge of this mess and after having read the titles of no fewer than five movies that are based on her book, I really have no words. Absolutely disgusting. 100% anti-male and actors who associate themselves with her should be ashamed. One can only imagine what the uproar would be if it was the other way around and calling women mares in books would is still among the more harmless twists. Let's not even get started about statements like "only dead women are good women". Of course, when it is about men in such a way, it is fine no? Ridiculous really. But back to this film we have here: The director is Michael Kreindl and Felix Huby adapted the book into a screenplay. Both are really prolific now, but back then only Huby fits this description and Kreindl had only been for five years in the industry. Huby already since the 1980s. Of course, quickly another thing about the title. there are horses in this film, but there is not a parade or anything, so it wwas really just a most clumsy and disgusting attempt here to create a parallel between horses and men. Spiteful stuff. The cast that steeped low enough to star in this travesty also include some familiar faces and names unfortunately. I am honestly not one bit surprised by the presenc eof lead actress Christiane Hörbiger. She has been in many terrible films honestly, dozens maybe, and I do not share the appreciation she seems to be getting here and there from the press and media. Extremely overrated actress and I have seen her in quite a few projects and can certainly be a judge of that. The presence of Michael Mendl, however, disappoints me a bit here. I think he is better than this level and should not have accepted the role as the male love interest to Hörbiger's character. Or any other role in this mess. With the rest, there is nothing special, most of them being prolific German television actors or actresses where you maybe recognize one or two faces, but cannot come up with the name. Ziegler and Studt are the best example. Their bodies of work are also nothing to be proud of. Fittingly with one of the supporting actress' names being Ziegler, this is also another Regina Ziegler Filmproduction, usually an extremely safe indicator that this is a very crappy movie. It sure it this time.
Now for the story. let me give you a few moments, inclusions and twists how it all went wrong. I will start with the central story. We have a respectable elderly woman who gets convinced by her daughter to spy on the latter's partner at an emmm. what is the word? Reitschule. Place where horses are held and can be picked for a ride. You know what I mean. Hörbiger's character reluctantly agrees and is immediately approached by a goat. One who shows up several times. Of course, the elderly woman went there despite being scared of animals that are bigger than frogs or so. Already very realistic, but yeah she loves her daughter so much that she agreed to go for it. What must be said, however, is that this travesty is not solved until the very end. The man knows nothing until the final scene really. And he simply has to accept it because no matter whan despicable acts women in these films commit, the man need to deal with it and shall not stand up for themselves, no matter how great their reputation is. The women are always superior. So yeah, honestly I would have been totally fine with the guy ditching the daughter eventually because she trusts him so little. That would have been an amazing ending. But this is not what we get in films like this. Instead we get a rushed-in proposal and an upcoming marriage because after all this, the man still has nothing better to do than accept the idea of spending the rest of his life with this very controlling partner. And the woman has nothing better to do than marry a guy who she thinks would cheat on her constantly for no reason. But then again, the guy is the evil one here because he called a mildly attractive colleague ugly and was not 100% honest about her. So this is the messed-up key story. You're getting the point I hope. Bit this is far from it all. While there with the guy (who is by the way constantly drooling over the old lady, so we don't forget how desirable Hörbiger still is) and the horses, the old lady also gets involved in the death of a supporting character. A woman gets killed when she falls from a horse and while everybody, including police, say it was an accident, our smart protagonist is not so sure and eventually manages to find out what really happened, but hey she works as a court reporter or something like that, she she is a bit of a Miss Marple. Again, extremely cringeworthy, also how she, absolutely out of nowhere, realizes a scary black dog must have caused the accident. And boom, what happens next? All of a sudden, scary black dogs keep showing up everywhere next to literally every supporting character and from now on everybody is a suspect. So laughable really. Oh well, actually nothing to laugh at, but the opposite really. Utterly crappy. Besides, of course Hörbiger's character also gets her romantic story because hey there is no way a female protagonist shall stay single in a Regina Ziegler movie, no matter how independent they are on their own. Of course, the love interest (simply for being a man) was also considered a murder suspect on one occasion when all of a sudden Mendl is forced to act all dark and mysterious, but he is not the one who did it and we see Hörbiger's character more volatile side when she burst into tears after he is so cold for her. Yes, they were indeed 100% serious with all this mess. The one who did it eventually was the main antagonist from the very start. You could actually see thhis coming from miles away. And of course, they were too scared to turn this afternoon movie into something too grave, so it was just a tragic accident, but the bad guy still gets his punishment. Oh yes, by the way, the horses here were also ready to compete at the Olympics. No false modesty by any means. Shame the filmmakers and cast here did not have 1% of the (alleged) talent of the horses. I mean the scene when the guy kisses a character wildly and we see it is the protagonist's daughter was already more than telling. An absolutely terrible movie. Disgusting how this is still on national television nowadays 1.5 decades after its original release, maybe even two decade depending on when you read my review. In any case, as I have said before: Your GEZ money at work. Stand up against this.
Now for the story. let me give you a few moments, inclusions and twists how it all went wrong. I will start with the central story. We have a respectable elderly woman who gets convinced by her daughter to spy on the latter's partner at an emmm. what is the word? Reitschule. Place where horses are held and can be picked for a ride. You know what I mean. Hörbiger's character reluctantly agrees and is immediately approached by a goat. One who shows up several times. Of course, the elderly woman went there despite being scared of animals that are bigger than frogs or so. Already very realistic, but yeah she loves her daughter so much that she agreed to go for it. What must be said, however, is that this travesty is not solved until the very end. The man knows nothing until the final scene really. And he simply has to accept it because no matter whan despicable acts women in these films commit, the man need to deal with it and shall not stand up for themselves, no matter how great their reputation is. The women are always superior. So yeah, honestly I would have been totally fine with the guy ditching the daughter eventually because she trusts him so little. That would have been an amazing ending. But this is not what we get in films like this. Instead we get a rushed-in proposal and an upcoming marriage because after all this, the man still has nothing better to do than accept the idea of spending the rest of his life with this very controlling partner. And the woman has nothing better to do than marry a guy who she thinks would cheat on her constantly for no reason. But then again, the guy is the evil one here because he called a mildly attractive colleague ugly and was not 100% honest about her. So this is the messed-up key story. You're getting the point I hope. Bit this is far from it all. While there with the guy (who is by the way constantly drooling over the old lady, so we don't forget how desirable Hörbiger still is) and the horses, the old lady also gets involved in the death of a supporting character. A woman gets killed when she falls from a horse and while everybody, including police, say it was an accident, our smart protagonist is not so sure and eventually manages to find out what really happened, but hey she works as a court reporter or something like that, she she is a bit of a Miss Marple. Again, extremely cringeworthy, also how she, absolutely out of nowhere, realizes a scary black dog must have caused the accident. And boom, what happens next? All of a sudden, scary black dogs keep showing up everywhere next to literally every supporting character and from now on everybody is a suspect. So laughable really. Oh well, actually nothing to laugh at, but the opposite really. Utterly crappy. Besides, of course Hörbiger's character also gets her romantic story because hey there is no way a female protagonist shall stay single in a Regina Ziegler movie, no matter how independent they are on their own. Of course, the love interest (simply for being a man) was also considered a murder suspect on one occasion when all of a sudden Mendl is forced to act all dark and mysterious, but he is not the one who did it and we see Hörbiger's character more volatile side when she burst into tears after he is so cold for her. Yes, they were indeed 100% serious with all this mess. The one who did it eventually was the main antagonist from the very start. You could actually see thhis coming from miles away. And of course, they were too scared to turn this afternoon movie into something too grave, so it was just a tragic accident, but the bad guy still gets his punishment. Oh yes, by the way, the horses here were also ready to compete at the Olympics. No false modesty by any means. Shame the filmmakers and cast here did not have 1% of the (alleged) talent of the horses. I mean the scene when the guy kisses a character wildly and we see it is the protagonist's daughter was already more than telling. An absolutely terrible movie. Disgusting how this is still on national television nowadays 1.5 decades after its original release, maybe even two decade depending on when you read my review. In any case, as I have said before: Your GEZ money at work. Stand up against this.