User Reviews

In this day of incredible computer-aided animation and scripts written to keep audiences laughing, it is easy to get caught up in the quality of the production and the non-stop barrage of jokes while losing sight of another objective that a good movie for kids might—or even should—attempt to achieve: communicating the value of virtues. It is rare that a movie can pull off all three, and I have to believe that effectively communicating values (without preaching) is the most difficult of the three.

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything comes close on all three counts. The animation is good, but it does not amaze. The story has moments of laughter and emotion, but you don't end up caring about many of the characters. And it makes it clear that doing the right thing and being willing to make sacrifices for others is important and worth the effort. In the end, I was glad that my kids had been entertained while having important principles reinforced. This is truly a movie for kids from start to finish, rather than a cute story with mature humor thrown in from time to time to keep things interesting for parents who might not be able set their prurient interests aside for a couple of hours.

Now if I could just get those freaky cheese curls off my mind

This movie is not likely to win (or be nominated for) any awards. But that does not change the fact that it was an amusing distraction for the children. It seemed to be a variation of Galaxy Quest, which was a fun movie itself. This, of course, was more kid-oriented, and my three children (ages 3, 6, and 9) all enjoyed the show - the 9 year old enjoyed it in spite of himself.

It was a cute movie with a positive message that used humor to advance the story as opposed to a movie that makes up a story to move from pratfall to pratfall. It's a rare treat in movie-making these days, and one that is worth checking out - at a matinée.

I took my three year old daughter to the theatre to see this movie this afternoon. I've heard criticism of it for not having an explicit enough Christian theme - the Veggie Tales are, after all, a Christian outreach ministry to children. Some seem to think they've "crossed over." For those not familiar with that term, from a Christian point of view, a "cross over" is a Christian entertainer - usually a singer - who moves to the secular side of the entertainment world. Elvis Presley (from gospel singer to king of rock and roll) is probably the best known cross-over. The Veggie Tales crew probably left themselves open to that charge by doing an essentially secular Saturday cartoon for NBC. Having watched this movie, though, I think that particular criticism is unfair. It's true that Christian content isn't explicit in this movie, but it's certainly there. There are constant references to help from above; there's the king who tells the "heroes" that he'll always be with them; the same king looks out for widows and orphans; and there's the over-arching theme of the movie, which is that even little guys like Larry the Cucumber and Pa Grape can become big heroes, a la David and Goliath. So, if you get the analogies, you get the Christian content, much like C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia.

It wasn't the content that was the problem here. The story is about 3 unlikely heroes somehow going back in time to help rescue a kidnapped princess. The title comes from a "Silly Song by Larry" in one of the VT videos. It's cute, a bit scary at times for wee ones and promotes good values. But the problem as I see it is that Veggie Tales was never intended for the big screen. The videos are fairly short and usually include 3 or 4 different items - stories, songs, etc. The movie essentially takes one theme and goes with it for about an hour and twenty minutes, which is probably too much for the audience of little kids that were present while I was there. I think this was a decent effort to bring the Veggie Tales sense of values to the movies, but I don't think I'd want them to do it again. 6/10

I've been a fan of Veggie Tales since they came out. They were funny and sent a great message. This was possibly the most boring animated movie I've ever seen. Now granted I'm in my twenties but I still enjoy kids cartoon movies, so when I see one I don't like, I try to hear the reaction from the kids in the audience to see how they enjoy it. Aside from a chuckle every now and then, none of the kids were laughing during the movie. I think the main problem is that there's a lot of dialog. So, coming from a life long fan of the Veggie Tales, it's probably best to keep the kids at home and throw in one of Veggie classics.

I am a Veggietales fan. I enjoy most of the television episodes, although some are better than others. Jonah was a decent showing of the Veggietales on the big screen, but I have to say I am disappointed in Pirates.

I just found myself bored. The laughs were few, and very far between. The storyline was not very original, very predictable and I miss the Biblical lessons that Veggietales are known for. There was still a lesson, but not one we haven't heard before in a billion other better made movies for the secular audience.

I was trying to pay attention to how the kids in the theater were reacting. I heard one young boy behind me say "that was good" when the show ended, but I'm not sure if he was remarking on the "Rock Monster" (think B52s "Rock Lobster") song at the end, which is catchy and lighthearted (too bad more of the movie wasn't that way) or if he meant the whole show. The kids didn't seem to fidget too much while the movie was playing...but I was.

I just know that Big Idea has better ideas under its sleeve than this. I'm hoping their next venture is up to par.

The veggies never cease to be entertaining.Our kids love them and I have an affection for them as well,but there are elements of this film that trouble me.While I suppose that there is a message that is Christian in nature in the film,God is never mentioned once,nor is the Bible or anything pertaining to it.In a normal Veggie Tales production,God is mentioned at least somewhere if not throughout.I find this troubling.Hopefully,the makers of this series will get back on the ball with their next production.Hopefully they have not forsaken what has endeared them to many people over the years and have sold out to mainstream Hollywood.This would be a rotten shame.Also,all of the usual VT characters get at least a small part in all or most of their productions,yet here this is not the case.We see only seconds of Bob the Tomato,and nothing at all of the French Peas or Junior Asparagus.This is not so much troubling as it is disappointing,I suppose.Overall,it's an entertaining watch,but in the end I see it as little more than an attempt to make a little dough off of a theme very popular in cinema these days:Pirates.So,Mike,Phil,if you ever read this,get back to those Christian values as quickly as you can and restore my sagging faith.

Positives: An above average kid movie, with enough adult references to keep the parents interested. Not as hyperactive a movie like other modern movies aimed at children, a plus. A decent moral message.

Negatives: For those expecting a biblical message, as with other VeggieTale productions, you will be disappointed. There are analogies to biblical themes, but nothing explicit. The idea of the "helpseeker" floating golden ball, a major element in the movie, which is a magical device that helps and guides the main characters throughout, had a sci-fi, mystical aspect to it. The very idea of a "helpseeker" was against the very character of what I had come to expect from past VeggieTales productions.

As a kids movie, I would give it a 7. But for those expecting a VeggieTales biblical message, look elsewhere. My disappointment over the moderation of their message reduces my rating.

Pirates was very cute, i took all of my younger brothers and sisters to see it and each of them liked something different about the movie. I especially liked the part where the rowboat fell out of the sky and the Rock Monster song was very funny. I grew up watching Veggie Tales and have been very disappointed with their more recent videos (post 2003 era) mostly because the writing seems to have lost something, it seemed like they were forcing the stories to have a blatantly Christian message. This movie was different from any other veggie tales because there was no Bible story the Pirates story was better than anything that's come out from them recently. However, about halfway through watching it, I started to fidget, luckily I had a bag with yarn and a crochet hook and I ended up having half a scarf by the time the movie was over.

A classic hero's journey tale, with a twist of Bible and a heap of talking vegetables, that's not good but still better than most of the Narnia movies.

This is a fun movie. Big Idea Productions improved their movie making skills from their last feature "Jonah". The movie is longer and yet feels shorter and more free flowing than Jonah. Yes, the Biblical message is quite buried, but definitely there. The animation has majorly improved (again, still not up to Pixar levels), the songs are still good (with the exception of "Yo Ho Heroes"), and the pacing of the movie is very good. The side jokes are very funny and are thrown in all over the place without interrupting the story flow. This makes for a very streamlined production that keeps its focus and yet feels free flowing and not forced at all. And the scriptwriting for the the 3 main characters makes them feel like real pals who know each other well. This movie nowhere achieves the greatness of Pixar films, but taken on its own terms, it is very solid.

And the best thing about the movie is that since it markets itself to kids, it is at its heart a children's movie. It keeps a sense of wonder and innocence about itself and doesn't try to win an adult audience deliberately. Recent animated features frequently market themselves to children, but then have such adult humor or violence in them that it makes the whole movie inappropriate for kids. "Pirates" is a bona-fide kids film that is fun, action packed, and entertaining. And it is refreshing in its kid-like nature that it will be a delight to parents to.

I love me some tomatoes and some avocados, but I sure as heck don't want to see them make guacamole! Don't watch this movie if you want your kids to be exposed to role play sex at an early age. The cannibalism got a bit out of hand, and I decided when the veggies resort to taking bites of their own flesh that I had have had has had have enough enough. This should be rated G for General audience... it should be rated G for Ghetto violence and drugs. Do not watch this movie if you have have not prepared to see what's under the banana peel. Now I must end this, because my period is coming out of my nose. Thank you and goodnight.

Vegetables who act as if they are human (and eat vegetables of a different order).

Some of them act as pirates in a show, and become "real" pirates in just the same way, with just the same distance of abstraction.

Its complicated by the further addition of a mechanical race that emulates the vegetables (that are emulating humans). And a further magical ball that masters everything. On the other end are a herd of living cheese curls and another of boulders.

This is another of those films which have all their narrative value in the way these abstractions are drawn. The story doesn't matter in the slightest; no character matters. No "message" exists. It only has value in the way it engages the child-viewer, and the way it engages is by presenting layers of imagination, obvious methods of abstraction.

Kids used to play by imagining and acting stories. Its a value associated with inner dialog, and abstract reasoning. It is an essential life skill. Kids don't do that anymore because advertising has convinced them that play is toy-centric and stories come assembled from a store.

That opens up a need for movies that play with the abstractions of inner dialog, and visually explicable layers.

I wish they were more open, more ambiguous and child-generated. And we know enough about cognitive science to know that the age group that this targets shouldn't be watching TeeVee AT ALL.

But this IS pretty complex stuff.

For instance, they have no arms or legs, and this is dealt with differently. The arm hand operations are simply performed as if arms and hands did exist. The walking is handled quite differently, as if they really had no legs; they hop.

Ted's Evaluation -- 1 of 3: You can find something better to do with this part of your life.

I'd only reccomend watching it if someone else under 10 wants to. Its a generic kids movie that is like BTTF and POTC with Veggietales become the most... ehhhhhhh ... movie experience.

Um. Idk why this thing exists. It's funny. Has some good themes ig. It's a VeggieTales movie tho. Hmmmmm 52/100

#44

Reviewer name and watch date: Andrew Thorpe, 6/22/2022, Wed.

Movie title and release year: The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything,, (2008)

52/100, E-

1a - Attraction value - upon first contact, is the idea appealing?: 4/10 1b - Attraction value - cast, plot, series, other medium influence?: 6/10 2a - Acting - casting - lead, supporting, villain, etc: 5/15 2b - Acting - character interaction, emotional connection: 9/15 3a - Dialogue - use for moving plot forward, nuance: 7/10 3b - Dialogue - writing quality, profanity, comedy: 12/15 4a - Plot - logical within universe, easy to follow, makes sense: 10/15 4b - Plot - quality, is it a good plot? Too long, unique?: 10/15 5a - Themes & motifs - symbolism, strong impressions: 12/15 5b - Themes & motifs - applicable ideas/thoughts, call to action: 5/5 6a - Cinematography - pace of editing, cuts, scene length, etc: 5/15 6b - Cinematography - angle, tone mood of shots: 5/15 7a - Effects - practical - explosions, large animals & vehicles: 4/5 7b - Effects - practical - costumes, weapons, props: 2/5 7c - Effects - practical - settings, scenery: 2/5 7d - Effects - special - CGI, green screen: 1/5 8a - Sound - score - conveying mood, determining attitude, etc: 10/20 8b - Sound - sound fx - foley, gunshots, explosions, dialogue, sound quality: 5/10 9a - Direction - quality - vision, concept, should this movie exist?: 5/10 9b - Direction - choices - execution of vision, cohesiveness: 5/15 10 - Bonus - up to 30 bonus points: 5/30 Total out of 250: 129/250.

I took the kids to see this one, and they all thoroughly enjoyed themselves (even the teenager!). Personally, I got a kick out of the story; with all the twists and turns, you never know what is coming next, or where it will all lead. There are realistic personal situations for our favorite veggies to deal with, plenty of action to keep things moving along, and all the laughs and silliness that we have come to expect from Veggie Tales. The moral was there, of course, presented so wonderfully and cleverly that even the secular audience grasp and appreciate the lesson. Once again, Big Idea has served us up a delightful tale for the entire family, that children of all ages can see with no worries by their parents.

Having kids around, I'm very familiar with the Veggie Tales. I've always admired their humor and their fun, and I enjoy something with a decent lesson or value that kids can learn. I was thoroughly impressed with this movie. This took a while to develop the story, but I believe it really made for their best feature, and some of the best work they've done to this point.

I would always stack their animation against pretty much anyone animating today, and their humor and fun really come out. I took nieces and nephews to see this film, and the kids laughed and laughed. I did too. What more can one desire from a Saturday afternoon at the movies? This is a winner.

Great movie for the whole family. There is no crude jokes or swearing! Has a witty plot and lovable characters. I only wish the movie had more songs. VeggieTales movies usually have lots of songs! Anyway, it's still is a wholesome, clever and cute little film. There was even some jokes that adults could only get, like gags about the "Love Boat" and stuff. But, it didn't have Bob the Tomato, in the movie until the very end. That was too bad because Bob is my favorite character. My favorite part is at the end when the "Rock Monster" music video plays. It's really funny. Overall, I recommend this film for anyone who wants to see a harmless and witty movie about talking vegetables. Enjoy!

I actually thought this movie had a great biblical message! Admittedly, it was much more allegorical than literal, which allows it to mainstream better in my opinion. The story is about two "Children of the King" who are in trouble. Their father, The King, intended to represent God, sends the "Help Seeker" which, in my opinion, was intended to represent the Holy Spirit. Then, the Help Seeker chooses three misfits, who are portrayed as losers for the most part, the most unlikely of choices to help. I thought this was a great picture of how God chooses to use us, even in our imperfections, for our good and the good of others!

I just got back from seeing this movie, which I went to see without my children because I wasn't sure how they would handle it. We are die-hard VT fans, but I was worried that the movie might be too intense for my three-year-old. The level of "scariness" is higher than in any other VT, and although it is a great, fun movie, (with an awesome if not hit-you-over-the-head obvious message), if your children are easily frightened I might wait until this one comes out on DVD. Put it this way: if you're such die-hard VT fan that pretty much the only TV your children watch is VeggieTales? This movie might scare them. If your children cried about the furnace in The Asparagus of La Mancha, this movie could be way too much for them to handle.

Waiting for the DVD!!

The best movie I have ever seen. I like the part where he goes "ahoy."