"Zwei zum Fressen gern" is a German television movie from 2006, so this one is already over a decade old and it runs for the usual 90 minutes, slightly over. The director is Simon X. Rost and the script is by Derek Meister whose work on the recent "Helden" may have been so bad that it actually ended his career. But this one here really isn't much better. Surprised to see Tramitz play a lead character in a film like this to be honest. He is much better than that. Doreen Jacobi proves that she is the exact opposite of lead material. Jennifer Ulrich is barely in this film and should not be second-billed. Dirk Bach's attempt to get in comedy are a failure most of all, but more due to the material and not for him sucking. May he rest in peace. The film itself is as bland as it gets. It is never funny although it really wants to be, it is never scary and that's not a surprise as they never wanted to focus on the horror genre despite this being about a bif dangerous man-eating crocodile. So they basically surrendered by default already. I could not care less for the action moments, but you could say that if anything this is an action comedy, a pretty stupid one though admittedly. There is never tension or suspense and the human antagonists are just as forgettable as the animals. The title sure sounds different than what you get here, but actually it is as bad as the film itself. No comment on the romance part ugh... If you wanna see a really funny creature comedy from Germany, go for the not too old film about shark alarm at Lake Müggelsee, which is way smarter, way more entertaining and also way more intelligent than this one we have here. It drags a lot and there is nothing meaningful or memorable about it. Definitely one to skip and I give it a big thumbs-down. Highly not recommended, even if you love the horror creature comedy genre.
4 Reviews
You want to stay away from this one more than you should stay away from any crocodile
Horst_In_Translation17 February 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Somewhat decent German crocodile creature feature
kannibalcorpsegrinder13 October 2014
When a supposedly endangered crocodile is accidentally-released into the wild, a scientist teams with a former crocodile hunter to help track the beast down before it endangers the locals while avoiding the hunter who illegally bought the animal.
This was an overall enjoyable if slightly flawed effort. One of the biggest pluses here is the fact that there's a lot of time spent with a real crocodile in here, something that adds a lot of believability to the attacks and stalking done here by letting the cast interact with a physical being for once. Keeping the shots brief until the finale is also quite impressive at not overexposing the limited effects either so that they have a greater impact but more importantly allows the danger to come a lot more naturally with a realistic creature on display which is a great advantage in a creature feature. Likewise, those early attacks aren't bad at all either with a sparkling attack in the sewers while looking for several disappearances in the area and it even leads into a fine escape attempt from a car during the attack which furthers the action further. A secondary attack on swimmers after leaving a baited attempt to track it leads to some fun as well, and it all builds nicely to the finale where everything comes into play as the attack on the hideout leads to not only a firefight with the illegal hunters but also a lot of crocodile stalking and killing which helps it's extended length quite effectively throughout here. Otherwise, this one does tend to run into problems with the fact that the large majority of time is spent in here not doing much of anything. There's not a lot of attacks at all so the croc is kept off-screen a lot so it tends to feel like an afterthought to the two main human drama stories in the relationship between the hunter and his estranged daughter as well as his burgeoning romance with the scientist as they travel around the countryside with the reporter who's some of the most aggravating comic relief in the genre, and in the end this ends up leaving a large section of time without any attacks or action scenes to really try to reel in viewers. Likewise, the fact that this supposedly sets up the sequel in much the same manner doesn't really do much of anything at all in this one and comes off as rather lame and hackneyed to utilize such a finish, but it's more about how long and lifeless the scenes between the attacks really are here.
Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence, Language and Brief Nudity.
This was an overall enjoyable if slightly flawed effort. One of the biggest pluses here is the fact that there's a lot of time spent with a real crocodile in here, something that adds a lot of believability to the attacks and stalking done here by letting the cast interact with a physical being for once. Keeping the shots brief until the finale is also quite impressive at not overexposing the limited effects either so that they have a greater impact but more importantly allows the danger to come a lot more naturally with a realistic creature on display which is a great advantage in a creature feature. Likewise, those early attacks aren't bad at all either with a sparkling attack in the sewers while looking for several disappearances in the area and it even leads into a fine escape attempt from a car during the attack which furthers the action further. A secondary attack on swimmers after leaving a baited attempt to track it leads to some fun as well, and it all builds nicely to the finale where everything comes into play as the attack on the hideout leads to not only a firefight with the illegal hunters but also a lot of crocodile stalking and killing which helps it's extended length quite effectively throughout here. Otherwise, this one does tend to run into problems with the fact that the large majority of time is spent in here not doing much of anything. There's not a lot of attacks at all so the croc is kept off-screen a lot so it tends to feel like an afterthought to the two main human drama stories in the relationship between the hunter and his estranged daughter as well as his burgeoning romance with the scientist as they travel around the countryside with the reporter who's some of the most aggravating comic relief in the genre, and in the end this ends up leaving a large section of time without any attacks or action scenes to really try to reel in viewers. Likewise, the fact that this supposedly sets up the sequel in much the same manner doesn't really do much of anything at all in this one and comes off as rather lame and hackneyed to utilize such a finish, but it's more about how long and lifeless the scenes between the attacks really are here.
Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence, Language and Brief Nudity.
A 'ight' croc movie with decent sfx
GSeditor20 August 2013
A large crocodile escapes into a river in Germany while being clandestinely delivered to an illegal wildlife dealer. A female forensic expert teams with a former croc hunter and a journalist to catch the beast as the local police doesn't believe that a croc is on the loose in Germany.
The croc effects are quite good, a combination of real props and cgi. However, croc attack scenes are few and the croc's appearances are mostly limited to the first encounter of the heroes with it in a sewer early in the movie and the finale. Moreover, the croc's killing of people are off-screen.
The fat and short (and perhaps somewhat effeminate) journalist provides most of the comedic aspects.
The plus side of the movie, apart from the above-mentioned good sfx, is that the blonde female lead (a former German model and TV personality named Doreen Jacobi) is good-looking and provides an incentive to keep on watching the movie in the croc-free portions as well. The always welcome Jennifer Ulrich (of Wir sind the Nacht, a recent German female vampire movie, fame) is also on board as the croc hunter's daughter and even bares her breasts in one scene.
The croc effects are quite good, a combination of real props and cgi. However, croc attack scenes are few and the croc's appearances are mostly limited to the first encounter of the heroes with it in a sewer early in the movie and the finale. Moreover, the croc's killing of people are off-screen.
The fat and short (and perhaps somewhat effeminate) journalist provides most of the comedic aspects.
The plus side of the movie, apart from the above-mentioned good sfx, is that the blonde female lead (a former German model and TV personality named Doreen Jacobi) is good-looking and provides an incentive to keep on watching the movie in the croc-free portions as well. The always welcome Jennifer Ulrich (of Wir sind the Nacht, a recent German female vampire movie, fame) is also on board as the croc hunter's daughter and even bares her breasts in one scene.
A rare gem - do not miss
marko-kacanski30 April 2013
"Crocodile Alert" is one of those films that many will dismiss just for being based on a ridiculous premise, having terrible acting and abysmal direction. But for those of us who can look past this minor shortcomings and appreciate real cinema, there is a real gem of the seventh art.
The emotional investment of the main characters in their hunt for the beast that terrorizes their peaceful town is matched only by their complex and involved relationships that will keep you on the edge of your seat both literally and emotionally.
Do not, for one second, think that frequent display of breasts in this film is there just for the cheap titillation which adolescent males are susceptible to. Every scene has its semantic, and in the end artistic, purpose - to take the viewer further into their own soul.
And this is the ultimate goal of this film - to teach you something about yourself. For sure, if you sit through this one, you will find out something new, and maybe even disturbing about the very depths of your personality.
In the words of the poet, "10/10 would watch again"
The emotional investment of the main characters in their hunt for the beast that terrorizes their peaceful town is matched only by their complex and involved relationships that will keep you on the edge of your seat both literally and emotionally.
Do not, for one second, think that frequent display of breasts in this film is there just for the cheap titillation which adolescent males are susceptible to. Every scene has its semantic, and in the end artistic, purpose - to take the viewer further into their own soul.
And this is the ultimate goal of this film - to teach you something about yourself. For sure, if you sit through this one, you will find out something new, and maybe even disturbing about the very depths of your personality.
In the words of the poet, "10/10 would watch again"
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