Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj (2006)
Kal Penn: Taj
Photos
Quotes
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Pipp Everett, the Earl of Grey : Let's settle this the way my ancestors did!
[Reaches for the swords hanging on the wall]
Taj : You want to exploit me economically?
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Taj : As Mr. Van Wilder would say, "If you can't join them, beat them".
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Seamus O'Toole : What did you say your name was again?
Taj Badalandabad : Taj Badalandabad, your new head of house.
Seamus O'Toole : Taj Badalandabad. That's a quite a tongue-twister.
Taj Badalandabad : It's not that hard to say. You got it right.
Seamus O'Toole : Yeah, but I've been drinking all day.
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Taj : verticle smile, scrambled eggs between the legs, sunny side up on the way to the butt
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Gethin : Sadie, this is Taj Badalandabad, our new head of house.
Sadie : Alright me ol' mucker, have a shake then I ain't got the clap or nothing.
Gethin : She means Handshake.
Taj : Of course, of course, Hi.
Gethin : Sadie is a cockney. It takes time to understand her words, they fit in her mouth funny.
Taj : Lucky words. You enjoying your time at Camford, Sadie?
Sadie : Yeah, It's alright. Blokes here are a bit stuffy here though. I mean I never thought it would be so hard finding someone worth slapping the ol' panhandle. You know, giving a blowjob. Nothing like getting your tongue around a nice fat one. Sliding it in, and out, in, and out, in, and out, in, and out. Milking it like a cow until it explodes in the back of your mouth.
Taj : Wow, I must have an amazing ear for dialects. I understood everything she said perfectly!
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Taj : A surprise in the woods? Well, can you give me a second? Let me go repack my wallet real quick.
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Taj : Simon?
Simon : I have... I have a problem.
Taj : [to the other guys] Oh, my God, he's talking. Well, Simon, whatever you problem is, we're your friends, you can tell us.
Simon : Well, you wee, it's to do with the size of my piddler.
Taj : Your... Oh. Well, you know, it's an understood fact that a man's piddler is... Appears smaller to himself than it is in real life.
Simon : Well, you see, that's what I'm afraid of. 'Cause according to me it has some 11 inches.
Taj : Come again? Figuratively.