- Kate Tanner: You're just lucky we're letting you keep that satellite dish.
- ALF: Don't use the words, "lucky" and "dish" in the same sentence unless you mean it.
- ALF: Oh. I ordered a satellite dish. It'll be here tomorrow. Will you help me put it up?
- Willie Tanner: I'll help you send it back.
- ALF: Can't, I bought it during their "Absolutely No Refunds, What Are You, Deaf?" Sale.
- Willie Tanner: Absolutely no refunds?
- ALF: What are you, deaf?
- Brian Tanner: [about satellite dish] How's it going?
- ALF: Lousy. I'm getting a lot of static and for once, it's not coming from Kate. Ha!
- [Checks for Kate]
- ALF: Ha ha!
- Lynn Tanner: Why is dad going through the pockets of man in a hole in our backyard at night?
- Kate Tanner: Because we have an alien.
- Lynn Tanner: Oh, right. What are you looking for?
- Willie Tanner: His wallet.
- ALF: Okay, but we split 50/50.