- Gomez Addams: [after Morticia finishes her Christmas song] Tish, you sing like a robin.
- Morticia Addams: Gomez!
- Gomez Addams: Sorry, I meant like a raven.
- [Confronted by a second Santa Claus in their house, Wednesday pulls Pugsley aside]
- Wednesday Addams: Either that's Grandmama or Santa Claus is a woman.
- Pugsley Addams: Either that or Grandmama's a man.
- Uncle Fester: Oh, Morticia, this is silly. I'm not the Santa Claus type, I'm too young and glamorous.
- Morticia Addams: Dear Uncle Fester, he's such a sentimental softie but he tries to hide it.
- Gomez Addams: There's plenty of room to hide it in.
- Uncle Fester: Oh, for crying out loud, Gomez, don't you know the difference between Morticia and me?
- Gomez Addams: I do now... you're a lot softer.
- Gomez Addams: But remember children, be careful. If you hit Uncle Festers head, you can ruin the arrow.
- Wednesday Addams: [dictating while Pugsley writes] Dear Santa: We just wanted you to know that, even though Mr. Thompson said there was no such thing as Santa Claus, we didn't believe him, so please come or else it will make us look like dummies. Signed, Wednesday and Pugsley Addams.
- Wednesday: Uncle Fester, do you believe in Santa Claus?
- Uncle Fester: Well, of course. You kids are talking like children.