Alfred Hitchcock Presents (TV Series)

Reward to Finder (1957)

Alfred Hitchcock: Self - Host

Quotes 

• [introduction] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : [Hitchcock is standing with his back to the camera, pulling dollar bills off the leaves of a life-sized bush-like tree]  I'll be with you in a moment.

  [turns to the audience to reveal a stack of bills in his hand] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : I suppose you're as surprised as I was to see a money tree like this. The ones I've seen have always been much taller.

  [turns back to the tree and pulls off another bill] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : Oh!

  [looks briefly at the bill] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : I've smudged that one. The ink wasn't dry yet. Last year, my entire crop was wiped out by grasshoppers.

  [camera moves in] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : I finally tried insect spray, but by that time, the grasshoppers were so rich, they could afford gas masks.

  [starts putting the money inside his jacket] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : Actually, I have no regard for money apart, aside from its purchasing power. It's completely useless as far as I'm concerned. Unfortunately, the leading characters in tonight's play do not share my detachment. You shall see what befell them in a moment.

• [afterword] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : [Hitchcock is now standing by himself with a bigger stack of bills in his hand]  Naturally, no one was the winner in that little merry-go-round. No one except for the local art store owner. The demand for statuettes shot up to astronomical heights. It was surpassed only by the amount of coffee that was sold. By the way, I thought my money tree was a bad influence on me, so I sold it. However, I had the foresight to strip it completely.

  [holds up the entire stack and notices the fine print on the bills] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : "Void if detached".

  [looks glumly at the audience and tosses the bills over his head] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : Goodnight.