- [introduction]
- Alfred Hitchcock: [a loose wire is dangling next to Hitchcock's head] Oh, good evening. I bring good news to those of you who are plagued with faulty television sets.
- [holds up a very long screwdriver]
- Alfred Hitchcock: I am prepared to repair your set. It only stands to reason, more can be accomplished working from the inside out than from the outside in. Let's see. Perhaps I shall tighten this a bit.
- [leans forward with screwdriver and adjusts something off-screen, but the screen becomes blurry]
- Alfred Hitchcock: On second thought, it looked very good the way it was.
- [adjusts again and the screen sharpens; Hitchcock leans back, then looks to his right at the dangling wire]
- Alfred Hitchcock: Oh, here's the trouble. We can't have loose wires hanging around.
- [starts pulling down the wire which seems to widen gradually; the camera pulls back to reveal a whole mess of television parts, wires, and more on a table in front of him]
- Alfred Hitchcock: Tonight's playlet is called, 'The Percentage', and is about a professional hoodlum named Big Eddie who meets up with a television repair man.
- [Hitchcock pulls down the last of the wire to reveal an antenna at the end of it]
- Alfred Hitchcock: As you see, it has exciting prospects.
- [indicates antenna]
- Alfred Hitchcock: Someone has sent me the bird. But let's go on with the show. Perhaps we shall get some ideas from the repairman in the story.
- [afterword]
- Alfred Hitchcock: [There is some reflection in the screen where Hitchcock is standing] Well, that's the way the old body bounces. I can't seem to find out what's the matter with your set.
- [Looks around, frowns, then leans forward to pick up a shoe]
- Alfred Hitchcock: What's this? No wonder so many television tubes are broken. If you don't care for the program, turn off the set. Don't turn your shoes at it.
- [puts down shoe and picks up a horseshoe]
- Alfred Hitchcock: Of course, I realise that there are some of you who can't turn the knob. Your present tube seems to be in fine shape however.
- [picks up a small club and strikes the screen; it shatters, startling Hitchcock]
- Alfred Hitchcock: Oh, I'm afraid you shall have to wait until next time when we return with a new story and a new tube. Until then, good night.