Alfred Hitchcock Presents (TV Series)

The Perfect Crime (1957)

Alfred Hitchcock: Self - Host

Quotes 

• [introduction, Hitchcock is in an armchair with a side table next to him, wearing a Sherlock Holmes cap, and smoking bubbles out of a pipe] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and Dr. Watson, wherever you are. Tonight's case is er...

  [blows more bubbles] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : Tonight's case is called "The Perfect Crime". I'm not sure who it was who said, "A perfect crime is like a perfect marriage - their being perfect depends on your not being caught." Tonight we plan...

  [swats at bubbles in annoyance] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : This is why I never take my pipe to bed. If you fall asleep, you could be bubbled to death. And now join me if you will, as we contemplate "The Perfect Crime."

• [afterword, Hitchcock walks into Courtney's living room where the furniture is covered in tarps; he stops and poses at Courtney's trophy cabinet] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : I regret to inform you that Courtney did not retain his last trophy very long. He was caught. A charwoman knocked over the precious vase, breaking it into pieces, a few of them identifiable as, ah, bits of Mr. Gregory. You see, the gold fillings of his teeth had resisted the heat of the kiln, but all the good doctors and all the good police couldn't put Mr. Gregory together again. As for the charwoman, she became "the pride of the press." Here is where the real historical significance of the case lies: ever since, cleaning women the world over have been knocking over vases, trying to emulate her success. That's all until next time when we shall be back with another, though imperfect, crime. Good night.