- Mike Stivic: [Edith is going through menopause] What did the doctor say?
- Archie Bunker: He just said that menopause is a pretty tough time to be going through; especially for nervous types.
- Mike Stivic: So?
- Archie Bunker: So he prescribed these here pills.
- [takes bottle of pills out of paper bag]
- Mike Stivic: Oh, good.
- Archie Bunker: I gotta take three of 'em a day.
- Mike Stivic: Hey it just occurred to me, Mickey Mouse is black.
- Archie Bunker: Mickey Mouse ain't got no race. He represents all men.
- Mike Stivic: Oh, I guess that's why Walt made him a mouse.
- Archie Bunker: Here's something we can see in Disney World. They got an all bear band.
- Edith Bunker: They got a naked band at Disney World?
- Edith Bunker: I hate bears.
- Archie Bunker: Well they ain't real bears, they...
- Edith Bunker: I hate all bears.
- Archie Bunker: Edith, I'm trying to show you...
- Edith Bunker: STIFLE.
- Archie Bunker: I know all about your woman's troubles there, Edith, but when I had the hernia that time, I didn't make you wear the truss. If you're gonna have the change of life, you gotta do it right now. I'm gonna give you just 30 seconds. Now c'mon and change.
- Edith Bunker: Can I finish my soup first?
- [Archie and Edith are planning a trip to Disney World]
- Mike Stivic: You know it just occurred to me - Mickey Mouse is black.
- Archie Bunker: Aww get out of here with that! Mickey Mouse has no race. He stands for all men.
- [Edith is going through menopause, and Archie is planning a trip, with Doctor's orders to be patient with her]
- Edith Bunker: I wanna talk about where we're going.
- Archie Bunker: Well, that's fine, there, Edith. If you want to talk about Florida, let's talk about Florida. And by the way, we ain't confirmed about going there yet.
- Edith Bunker: No, no, no! Not Florida! I want to go to Scranton.
- Archie Bunker: Scranton?
- [Forces himself to calm down]
- Archie Bunker: Edith, uh, what is in Scranton?
- Edith Bunker: My cousin Emily.
- Archie Bunker: [Anger mounting] Your cousin Emily?
- Edith Bunker: You hate Emily!
- Archie Bunker: [In a reasonable tone] No, no, no, no, I don't, Edith. I don't hate Emily. I never said that, I never said that at all. No, I like her, and I like their little home in Scranton, there, and those four cute teenagers. I think her husband is a real nice guy, and I, I can't say that...
- [Loses it]
- Archie Bunker: I can't go on like this, that's one thing I can't do! I can't believe a word of anything I'm saying around here! This ain't natural! No, I don't like her, and I don't like her husband! He's a bum, and he always was, and she's a crank, and she always was! And I hate their four rotten kids! And the only way you're gettin' me to go to Scranton is if some screwball hijacks the airplane! I know all about your women's troubles there, Edith, but when I had the hernia that time I didn't make you wear the truss!
- Michael 'Meathead' Stivic: Come on, Archie!
- Gloria Bunker-Stivic: Daddy!
- Archie Bunker: No, no, no, Edith! If you're gonna have the change of life, you gotta do it right now! I'm gonna give you just thirty seconds. Now, come on, change!