- Barney Fife: [Gomer has been babbling an irrelevant story about his cousin, Goober] Gomer! Two people are trapped in a cave and you stand there yakkin' about your stupid cousin, Goober!
- Gomer Pyle: I'm sorry, Barn.
- Barney Fife: Well, look alive, man! Get on that phone and see if you can get a hold of some more volunteers! Wait a minute! First help me get these things to the squad car. We're gonna have to make two trips.
- Gomer Pyle: He ain't stupid.
- Barney Fife: What?
- Gomer Pyle: My cousin, Goober, ain't stupid. He's ugly, but he ain't stupid.