- Deputy Barney Fife: Gentlemen, I give you science in action! Proof positive the camera does not lie! It sees all, tells all! *There* is your criminal!
- [Slams the picture from the security camera on the desk, only to discover it's a picture he accidentally shot of himself setting up the device]
- Deputy Barney Fife: [Aghast] Well, it's me!
- Gomer Pyle: You take a real good picture, Barney. Me, I never do.
- Deputy Barney Fife: [in the cell] All right, Lefty, you and me's bustin' outta here tonight.
- Deputy Barney Fife: [yells out to Andy] D'you hear that?
- Andy Taylor: Perfect. Heard every word.
- Deputy Barney Fife: There ya are, complete control with just a flick of a switch!
- Andy Taylor: Oh, I didn't turn on no switch. I heard you good and plain without it.
- [in his last demonstration, Barney lifts Opie right up to the speaker]
- Opie Taylor: [whispering] All right, Lefty, me and you's bustin' out tonight.
- Barney Fife: [shouting] You hear that, Andy?
- Andy Taylor: [grinning ear to ear] Perfect! I heard every word. Now, if we can get one prisoner to hold the other'n up like that, we can hear every word they say!
- Deputy Barney Fife: Whatever goes on in there, we'll be able to listen in on out here. Well, don't you get it? It's our own little spy in the sky!
- Andy Taylor: What kind of things will we listen in on outside of Otis's snorin'?
- Opie Taylor: Do you want me to say it again, Barney?
- Andy Taylor: [chuckles] That's all right, Lefty. You can go ahead and bust out and play.
- [before leaving the courthouse, Andy turns on the intercom system]
- Andy Taylor: This is Mercury Control, over. A-okay and out!
- Gomer Pyle: I don't do no engine work. Just gas and oil, water and air! Water and air's free. We don't make no charge for it.