Andy Richter: Andy Richter

Quotes 

• Andy : O.K. You're right. I'm a bigot. I assume things about the good-looking they don't deserve - like they get whatever they want, or that their females don't want to talk to me.

• Andy Richter : [Andy recounts his one and only date with Jessica]  Maybe we should try sleeping together...

  Jessica Green : I don't know, I think this might be one of those situations that having bad sex won't help. I guess we've been friends for too long.

  Andy Richter : We might have crossed the line that time I held your hair when you were vomiting.

  Jessica Green : Oh yeah, that was nice.

• Mr. Pickering : In my day if you wanted to sabotage a man, you'd lickor him up, stuff him in a duffelbag and mail him to the Kaizer.

  Andy Richter : I'll try may way first.

  Mr. Pickering : Of course you will. Sodomite!

• Arnich : You changed the schematics.

  Andy Richter : Yes.

  Arnich : Intentionally.

  Andy Richter : If it helps me keep my job, then no. Eh, I was walking by them with a pencil wearing my new bananapeel shoes...

• Andy Richter : [narrating]  Alright, lets do some housekeeping. I live in Chicago, I work for the fifth largest company in America, Pickering Industries. We make everything from nightlights to nuclear missiles.

  [steps out of the elevator] 

  Andy Richter : Oh look, here's the dead guy who founded it over a hundred years ago.

  Andy Richter : Hello, Mr. Pickering.

  Mr. Pickering : The problem with America, is the negro and the jew.

  Andy Richter : You're just a huge racist bastard, aren't ya?