- [first lines]
- Tim Lafferty: Well...
- Tagg Oakley: Howdy.
- Tim Lafferty: A hearty welcome to ya. Me name is Tim Lafferty.
- Tagg Oakley: Mine's Tagg Oakley.
- Tim Lafferty: Well, Tagg Oakley, eh? You wouldn't happen to be any relation to Annie Oakley, would you?
- Tagg Oakley: I'm her brother. Do you know her, Mr. Lafferty?
- Tim Lafferty: No, but I've heard of her - the little colleen with the eyes of an eagle and the heart of a lion.
- Tagg Oakley: She's pretty good, but I've never heard it said like that before.
- Tim Lafferty: Well, it isn't everybody that can be born in old Ireland and have the gift of the silver tongue from the leprechaunts.
- Tagg Oakley: Leprechauns? What are they?
- Tim Lafferty: They're the little people - the wee folk from the elves and the fairies.
- Tagg Oakley: Gosh. They're not real, are they?
- Tim Lafferty: Well, they're just as real as you and me to them that can see them. They're all around me. They followed me from the Auld Sod.
- Annie Oakley: If you just drive Miss Biddle into town, we won't put you to any more trouble, Mr. Lafferty.
- Tim Lafferty: Trouble indeed. I stand by me friends and, if you would be so kind, my friends call me "Tim".
- Tim Lafferty: And who is this murderin' scut?
- Deputy Sheriff Lofty Craig: He says his name is *Jones*. He was shooting at jackrabbits.
- Tim Lafferty: I'll show him the difference between an Irishman and a jackrabbit!
- Annie Oakley: No, Tim...
- Deputy Sheriff Lofty Craig: He also shot at me and jackrabbits don't wear badges.
- Deputy Sheriff Lofty Craig: I don't know all the answers, Annie, but the guilty flee when no man pursueth, as it says in the Good Book.
- Sundown - Henchman: The richest gold bearing ore I've ever seen.
- Ben Cobey: Yeah, now that the funeral is over, I can talk business to Eliza.
- Sundown - Henchman: We gotta make her sell, Boss. This vein starts under your property but the best part of it lies under her land.
- Tim Lafferty: Keep your chin up and your hat on straight and everything will be rosy in the morning.
- Deputy Sheriff Lofty Craig: If he had a butterfly net, I'd say he was trying to catch leprechauns.
- Tagg Oakley: What can you catch with a twig?
- Sundown - Henchman: What is gonna happen to Monk?
- Ben Cobey: You're pretty handy with that knife, ain't ya?
- Sundown - Henchman: Yeah, got taught by an Indian.
- Tagg Oakley: How'd you catch him, Tim?
- Tim Lafferty: It wasn't me. It was the leprechauns.
- Henchman: He tricked me telling me there was a little man with whiskers behind me.
- Tim Lafferty: And so there was. And now we can start digging whether it's for gold or whether it's for water. Your troubles are over, Eliza. Up St Patrick!
- Tagg Oakley: And how about up the leprechauns?
- Tim Lafferty: Look out, there's one behind ya.