- Mr. Harman: [at Young Mr Grace's birthday lunch] My lords, ladies and gentlemen! Mr Grace will now serve the traditional champagne! Thank you. Astro spumantis 1962, bottled by British Railway and bought up as a job lot when they went over to diesel. Connosieurs prefer the diesel! My lords, ladies and gentlemen, Mr Grace will now remove the cork!
- Captain Peacock: [at a dress rehearsal for a children's play] Why has Little Boy Blue got a plastic mac on?
- Mr. Lucas: [flushed with embarrassment] Because Little Boy Blue's tights are too tight! And his smock is too short! In fact, Little Boy Blue is seriously considering handing in his horn!
- [the staff are wearing decorative flowers for Mr. Grace's birthday]
- Miss Brahms: Mine won't fall out. I've jammed the end in my knicker elastic.
- Mrs. Slocombe: Well! I certainly don't intend to accommodate mine in that fashion.