Arrested Development (TV Series)

The Cabin Show (2005)

Jason Bateman: Michael Bluth

Photos 

Quotes 

• Michael : It is going to up in Tahoe a couple more days. Maybe you could take a date

  Lucille : How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?

  Michael : [Michael stares at her awkwardly]  The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.

• Oscar : I'm your dad's twin brother! I'M OSCAR! DOT COM!

  Michael : I'm taking my son to the cabin and there's nothing you can say to convince me that you're not my dad.

  Oscar : I understand. Your son comes first.

  Michael : Oh my god, you're Oscar.

  Oscar : Dot com.

• Michael Bluth : You seem more villainous than usual, Mom; are you sober?

  Lucille : Michael, it's eight a.m.

  Michael Bluth : So, it's not that.

  Lucille : I don't know. Maybe it's because I went off my post-partum medication.

  Michael Bluth : You were still taking that? You had Buster thirty-two years ago.

  Lucille : And that's how long I've been depressed about him.

  Lucille : Well, apparently, mood-altering medication leads to street drugs. That's what this very handsome young doctor said on the Today Show.

  Michael Bluth : That was Tom Cruise, the actor.

  Lucille : They said he was some kind of scientist.

• Gob : I didn't even know we had a cabin in the woods.

  Michael : Oh shit. I've never been to the cabin, GOB.

  Narrator : Though he had often been promised.

  George Sr. : [flashback - "1977"]  Oh sorry buddy, something came up. This nice lady here lost her puppy and I'm going to help her find it.

  George Sr. : [flashback - "1980"]  Oh sorry buddy, this girl's dad got sick and I'm taking her to the hospital.

  George Sr. : [flashback - "1983"]  Come on, you're old enough to understand this by now - I'm nailing this broad!

• Tobias Fünke : Can I interest you in a smoothie or an amal... Michael!

  Michael : Tobias! I thought you were in Vegas with Kitty and the Blue Man Group.

  Tobias Fünke : Sadly, it turns out that the part I had destroyed my life to get had already been cast.

  Narrator : The role was filled by George Sr. who used it to hide in plain sight. That is, until he choked on a marshmallow and almost died when nobody noticed that he had turned blue.

• Lindsay Funke : We're super rich again, Mikey! And I'm going to buy a car. A Volvo!

  Michael : Lindsay, you're not going to start spending money again.

  [she hands him a picture] 

  Michael : And this is not a Volvo...

  Lindsay Funke : Oh, that's from sitting on the copier.

• Lindsay Funke : I cant believe Tobias dumped me for that whore Kitty. Do you think he would leave this? And these?

  [points to her breasts] 

  Lindsay Funke : And this?

  [hands Michael a piece of paper] 

  Michael : Still the car.

  Lindsay Funke : Or this?

  Michael : [hands Michael a picture]  Glad I didn't spring for color.

• Michael : Hey, maybe you could pop a tent outside with your cousin Maeby.

  George Michael : Oh, I don't know...

  Maebe : I'm not really the outdoorsy type.

  Michael : Well, it'd be a good chance to rub off on her.

• Michael Bluth : [Michael discovers that Oscar is in prison, not George]  I'm sure that Oscar could last another day in prison.

  Narrator : Not according to the most recent blog entry on imoscar.com.

• Michael Bluth : This all makes sense now. Dad's in Reno, Kitty's in Reno, Dad's in Kitty, and Dad's a Blue Man.

• Michael Bluth : I'm looking for a man who's probably in the seedy underbelly of Reno.

  Cab Driver : Oh, the Christian League had The Seedy Underbelly shut down. Now it's a Swallows.

  Narrator : Swallows was a family-style restaurant by day and an anything-goes, pan-sexual bazaar by night.

• [repeated line] 

  Michael : I'm sorry, pal. It's just not going to happen this time.