- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: What year were you born?
- Linda Fuller: Early '50s.
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: Can't you be more specific?
- Linda Fuller: 1947.
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: No lady sleeps with a man for money. What brings you up here, Mrs. Miller?
- Elizabeth Miller: I came to get a check from Barney.
- Elizabeth Miller: [seeing the prostitutes in the office] Is that what I think it is out there or does everyone have his own private secretary now?
- Capt. Barney Miller: Business as usual.
- Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale: Hey, Nick, if a guy's been murdered and his name begins with B, do you file it under "M" for "murder", "B" for "Bertoni", or "H" for "homicide"?
- Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana: What's the name of the guy that killed him?
- Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale: We don't know that yet.
- Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana: File it under "U" for "unsolved".
- Puerto Rican Hooker: [to Harris about Chano] Do I have to go with him again?
- Det. Ron Harris: Uh, no, we're desegregated here.
- Puerto Rican Hooker: He's always picking on me because I'm Puerto Rican, you know?
- Det. Ron Harris: Well, you see, that's because Chano feels that Puerto Rican ladies are very special.
- Puerto Rican Hooker: Me, too. You know, I make more money than they all do.
- Capt. Barney Miller: How old was your daughter when she first left home?
- Det. Phil Fish: She was almost thirty.
- Capt. Barney Miller: How old was she when she got married?
- Det. Phil Fish: Twenty-seven.
- Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale: [booking a Puerto Rican hooker] Miss del Fuego, I came from a very small fishing village in Puerto Rico.
- Puerto Rican Hooker: Me, too.
- Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale: I came here, I worked very hard, I learned to speak English.
- Puerto Rican Hooker: Me, too.
- Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale: And today, I am proud to serve the public and be known as one of New York's finest.
- Puerto Rican Hooker: Me, too!