- Det. Ron Harris: I went through the records downstairs and came up with some possible suspects, anyone who might have a grudge against you. I also pulled all the threatening or abusive letters you've gotten in the last couple of years.
- Capt. Barney Miller: Quite a number.
- Det. Ron Harris: Oh, well not all of them were sent to you. Some were just addressed to "The Pig in Charge".
- Capt. Barney Miller: You might as well get started reorganizing the files.
- Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana: [pointing at the vandal] Why me? He did it.
- Capt. Barney Miller: Just get on it, will you?
- Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana: [slightly bitter] Yes, sir.
- Capt. Barney Miller: Is there anything else you'd like to say?
- Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana: [glancing at the graffiti that reads "Miller is a Dirty M--"] I have nothing to add.