The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)

Jed Pays His Income Tax (1963)

Buddy Ebsen: Jed Clampett

Quotes 

• Jed Clampett : What's all the ruckus, Granny? Who was that?

  Daisy Moses : Dad-blamed revenooer!

• Daisy Moses : I don't want no revenooers snoopin' around. They're the lowest form of varmints. Even he was ashamed of bein' one.

  Jed Clampett : He was?

  Daisy Moses : Called it the Infernal Revenue Service.

• Daisy Moses : Jed, is the revenooer stayin' fer supper?

  Jed Clampett : He ain't no revenooer.

  Daisy Moses : Well, is the furreigner stayin' fer supper?

  Jed Clampett : How about it Mr. Landman? You too Mr. Drysdale.

  Mr. Landman : You're not by any chance cooking mustard greens and possum innards, are you?

  Daisy Moses : Not tonight.

  Jed Clampett : No, we had them last night.

  Mr. Landman : I'll stay.

  Milburn Drysdale : Me too.

  Daisy Moses : Tonight, we is havin' leftovers.

  Jed Clampett : That's the thing about possum innards. They is just as good the second day.

• Mr. Landman : I guess back in the hills where you come from, I'd be a tax collector.

  Jed Clampett : Back in the hills, you'd be a lot younger.

  Mr. Landman : Oh, ws the climate that healthy?

  Jed Clampett : Naw, just you wouldn't have lived to get this old.