- Prince Edmund: [to the Witchsmeller Pursuivant] I've been hearing about your work in Taunton. Imagine that - every single person having an affair with the same duck.
- Percy: Only this morning in the courtyard I saw a horse with two heads and two bodies.
- Prince Edmund: Two horses standing next to each other?
- Percy: Yes. It could be.
- [In court]
- The Witchsmeller Pursuivant: Have you or have you not, committed sins of the flesh with him?
- Jane Firkettle: I have.
- Prince Edmund: You must be joking!
- Jane Firkettle: To my deepest shame.
- Prince Edmund: And mine. I mean look at her!
- The Witchsmeller Pursuivant: [Edmund is on trial, accused of being a witch] And Prince Edmund, I believe you have a pussy cat?
- Prince Edmund: That's right, yes.
- The Witchsmeller Pursuivant: Awww. Its name is Bubbles?
- Prince Edmund: Yes, that's the one.
- The Witchsmeller Pursuivant: Or to give it its full name,
- [shouts]
- The Witchsmeller Pursuivant: Beelzebubbles!
- Prince Edmund: [after the Witchsmeller Pursuivant has accused him of being a witch] You're just an old quack!
- The Witchsmeller Pursuivant: What did you call me?
- Prince Edmund: Quack! Quack! Quack!
- [the crowd reacts in shock]
- The Witchsmeller Pursuivant: [to Prince Harry] My Lord, you see how the duck still possesses him.
- The Witchsmeller Pursuivant: Did you ask this cat, and I quote, "Hello, Bubbles, would you like some milk"?
- Prince Edmund: I might have done.
- The Witchsmeller Pursuivant: What did you mean by that?
- Prince Edmund: Well, obviously, I meant would the cat like some milk.
- The Witchsmeller Pursuivant: Milk? What did you mean by milk?
- Prince Edmund: Well, I meant milk! Bloody milk!
- The Witchsmeller Pursuivant: BLOODY MILK! It was a mixture of milk and blood!
- Prince Edmund: No, no, just milk.
- The Witchsmeller Pursuivant: Ah, but the blood was to come later.
- Prince Edmund: There wasn't any blood!
- The Witchsmeller Pursuivant: So, you had to make do with milk!
- Prince Edmund: [Edmund, Baldrick and Percy are on the burning pyre] Oh, damn! I'm not even comfortable.