Blackadder II (TV Series)
Chains (1986)
Tim McInnerny: Lord Percy
Quotes
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Queen Elizabeth I : [Speaking of Edmund:] Well then he's vanished. Simply vanished.
Lord Percy Percy : Like an old oak table.
Queen Elizabeth I : Vanished, Lord Percy, not varnished.
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Queen Elizabeth I : Lord Percy...
Lord Percy Percy : Yes?
Queen Elizabeth I : It's up to you. Either you can shut up, or you can have your head cut off.
Lord Percy Percy : [thinks for a few seconds] I'll shut up.
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Lord Percy Percy : Welcome Edmund. Did you... miss me?
Blackadder : I certainly did. Many was a time, Percy, I say to myself, 'I wish Percy was here'...
[Percy gets sentimental]
Blackadder : ...being tortured instead of me.
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Queen Elizabeth I : Oh I don't know, I've looked everywhere.
Lord Percy Percy : [concentrating intensely] Perhaps... they're not... hiding... at all! Perhaps they've been kidnapped!
Queen Elizabeth I : Nonsense! As Edmund said, "Only real idiots get kidnapped."