Boston Legal (TV Series)

Death Be Not Proud (2005)

James Spader: Alan Shore

Quotes 

• Alan Shore : I'm not about to go to Texas and not ride the mechanical bull, Chelina. That would be like going to Los Angeles and not sleeping with Paris Hilton.

• Gerald Litman : No cell phones are allowed in here. How'd you get by with that?

  Alan Shore : I told the guards we were waiting for a last-minute call from your conscience. Collect.

• Chelina Hall : You asked me before "Why Texas?". Instead of having a Supreme Court it has two High Courts. The reaso... n is to speed up the death cases. They've cut the time it takes to execute people in half. It's why Texas leads the country in executions, proudly. Seven of the nine judges you will face tomorrow are former procecutors.

  [chokes up and bows her head, sobbing] 

  Alan Shore : [gently]  Hey... hey, I promise you. By the time I finished tomorrow, those judges, every last one of th em, will rise up and say: "Never mind executing Ezekiel Borns, let's kill Alan Shore instead."

• Alan Shore : I realize I'm new, but didn't the Supreme Court rule you can't execute mentally retarded people?

  Gerald Litman : He has an IQ of 80. The cutoff point for retardation in Texas is 70.