Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)

Intervention (2001)

James Marsters: Spike

Photos 

Quotes 

• Buffy Bot : [putting on a jacket]  Time to slay.

  Spike : [mumbling in his sleep]  Yeah. Yeah.

  Buffy Bot : Vampires of the world beware.

  [leaves the crypt] 

• Spike : [about Buffy]  She's upset about her mum. And if she turns to me for comfort, well, I'm not gonna deny it to her. I'm not a monster.

  Xander Harris : Yes, you are a monster. Vampires are monsters. They make monster movies about them.

  Spike : Well, yeah, you got me there.

• [last lines] 

  Spike : And my robot?

  Buffy Summers : The robot is gone. The robot was gross and obscene.

  Spike : It wasn't supposed to...

  Buffy Summers : Don't. That... thing, it... it wasn't even real... What you did for me and Dawn, that was real... I won't forget it.

• Glory : The vampire is lying to me.

  Spike : [chuckles]  Yeah. But it was fun. And guess what, bitch? I'm not telling you jack. You're never gonna get your sodding key, 'cause you might be strong, but in our world, you're an idiot.

  Glory : I am a god.

  Spike : The god of what, bad home perms?

  Glory : Shut up! I command you shut up!

  Spike : Yeah, okay. Sorry, but I just had no idea that gods were such prancing lightweights. Mark my words. The Slayer is going to kick your skanky, lopsided ass back to whatever place would take a cheap, whorish, fashion victim, ex-god like you.

• [Glory is torturing Spike to find who the Key is] 

  Spike : Yeah, okay. The key. Here's the thing. It's that guy... on TV. What's-his-name.

  Glory : [confused]  On the television?

  Spike : On that show, the price show... where they guess what stuff costs.

  Murk : The Price is Right?

  Jinx : Bob Barker!

  Murk : [to Glory]  We will bring you Bob Barker. We will bring you the limp and beaten body of Bob Barker!

  Glory : It is not Bob Barker, you scabby morons! The Key is new to this world... and Bob Barker is as old as grit.

• [Buffy is pretending to be the Buffybot] 

  Buffy Summers : Why did you let that Glory hurt you?

  Spike : She wanted to know who the key was.

  Buffy Summers : Oh, well, I can tell her, and then you won't...

  Spike : No...! You can't ever. Glory never finds out.

  Buffy Summers : Why?

  Spike : 'Cause Buffy... the other not-so-pleasant Buffy... anything happened to Dawn, it'd destroy her. I couldn't live, her bein' in that much pain. I'd let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did.

• Buffy Bot : Oh, Spike, devour me.

  Spike : All right.

  Buffy Bot : Spike, I can't help myself. I love you.

  Spike : You're mine, Buffy.

  Buffy Bot : Should I start this program over?

  Spike : Shh! No programs. Don't use that word. Just be Buffy.

• Spike : Is that your best, Slayer?

  Buffy Bot : No.

  Spike : Why not?

  Buffy Bot : I wanna hurt you, but I can't resist the sinister attraction of your cold and muscular body.

• Buffy Bot : Darn your sinister attraction.

  Spike : Are you afraid of me?

  Buffy Bot : Yes.

• [Glory's minions brings Spike to her thinking he is the Key] 

  Glory : That's fantabulous, and impossible. He can't be the Key, because, see, the *Key* has to be pure. This is a vampire. Lesson number one: Vampires equal impure.

  Spike : Yeah, damn right. I'm impure. I'm as impure as the driven yellow snow. Let me go.