Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)
School Hard (1997)
James Marsters: Spike
Photos
Quotes
-
Big Ugly : When I kill her, it'll be the greatest event since the Crucifixion. And I should know. I was there.
Spike : You were there? Oh, please! If every vampire who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock.
Big Ugly : I oughta rip your throat out.
Spike : I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move.
-
Spike : A slayer with family and friends. That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.
-
Buffy Summers : Do we really need weapons for this?
Spike : I just like them. They make me feel all manly.
-
Spike : So. How 'bout this Slayer? Is she tough?
[Cut to Buffy's room. She's standing at her mirror, trying to brush her hair]
Buffy Summers : Ow!
Joyce Summers : What's wrong?
Buffy Summers : I spent a good part of my allowance on this new cream rinse, and it's neither creamy nor rinsey.
Joyce Summers : Life is hard, dear.
Buffy Summers : Don't I know it.
[studies her image critically]
Buffy Summers : Is that a split end?
Joyce Summers : I got the mail.
Buffy Summers : Good.
Joyce Summers : Which included a reminder notice about Parent-Teacher night. Thursday.
Buffy Summers : [in trepidation] That's good.
Joyce Summers : Which you were planning on telling me about...?
Buffy Summers : Oh, for... the last two weeks.
Joyce Summers : Uh-huh. So, what do you think your teachers are gonna tell me about you?
Buffy Summers : Well, I think they'll all agree that I always bring a pen to class, ready to absorb the knowledge.
Joyce Summers : And, uh, this absorption rate? How is it reflected in your homework and test scores?
Buffy Summers : What can you really tell about a person from a test score?
Joyce Summers : Whether or not she's ever going out with her friends again.
[Buffy blanches]
Joyce Summers : Well, I'm looking forward to meeting your new principal.
Buffy Summers : Won't that be something?
-
[after watching Buffy slay a vampire, Spike comes out of the shadows, slowly clapping his hands]
Spike : Nice work, love.
Buffy Summers : Who are you?
Spike : You'll find out on Saturday.
Buffy Summers : What happens on Saturday?
Spike : I kill you.
-
[last lines]
Spike : How's the Annoying One?
Drusilla : He doesn't wanna play.
Spike : It figures. Well, I suppose I'd better go make nice.
[He walks over to the Anointed One and kneels before him]
The Anointed One : You failed.
Spike : I, um... I offer penance.
Vampire : Penance? You should lay down your life! Our numbers are depleted. The Feast of St. Vigeous has been ruined by your impatience!
Spike : I was rash... And if I had to do it all over again...
[laughs]
Spike : Who am I kidding? I would do it exactly the same, only I'd do this...
[grabs the Anointed One]
The Anointed One : No!
Spike : ...first!
[Spike sticks The Anointed One in the nearby cage and starts pulling a chain, lifting the cage up from the floor]
Spike : From now on, we're gonna have a little less ritual... and a little more fun around here.
[the cage is lifted into the sunlight. The Anointed One screams as he dies]
Spike : Let's see what's on TV.
-
Spike : Me and Dru, we're movin' in... Now... Any of you wanna test who's got the biggest wrinklies 'round here... step on up.
[to The Anointed One]
Spike : I'll do your Slayer for you. But you keep your flunkies from tryin' anything behind my back. Deal?
[the Anointed One nods]
Drusilla : I can't see her. The Slayer. I can't see. It's dark where she is. Kill her. Kill her, Spike. Kill her for me?
Spike : It's done, baby.
Drusilla : Kill her for Princess?
Spike : I'll chop her into messes.
-
[to the remains of the Order of Aurelius]
Spike : Do you know what I find works real good with Slayers? Killing them.
-
Spike : I'll tell you what. As a personal favor from me to you, I'll make it quick. It won't hurt a bit.
Buffy Summers : No, Spike. It's gonna hurt a lot.
-
Buffy Summers : You shouldn't have come here.
Spike : No. I messed up your doilies and stuff. But I just got so bored.
-
Spike : So, who do you kill for fun around here?