Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)

Some Assembly Required (1997)

Charisma Carpenter: Cordelia Chase

Photos 

Quotes 

• Cordelia Chase : Why are these terrible things always happening to me?

  Xander Harris : Karma.

  [fake cough] 

• Cordelia Chase : I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. What you did in there was really brave and heroic. And I just wanted to tell you if there's anything I could ever do to...

  Xander Harris : Do you mind? We're talking here. So, where were we?

  Willow Rosenberg : Wondering why we never get dates.

  Xander Harris : Yeah. So, why do you think that is?

• Willow Rosenberg : [has morgue bookmarked on her computer]  It says that Meredith and two other girls in the car were killed instantly. They were all on the Fondren High Pep Squad, on the way to a game.

  Buffy Summers : You know what this means.

  Xander Harris : That Fondren might actually beat Sunnydale in the cross-town body-count competition this year?

  Buffy Summers : She wasn't killed by vampires. Somebody *did* dig up her corpse.

  Cordelia Chase : Eww! Why is it that every conversation you people have has the word "corpse" in it?

• [Willow asks Cordelia whether she wants to go on the grave-digging adventure] 

  Cordelia Chase : Darn, I have cheerleader practice tonight. Boy, I wish I knew you'd be digging up dead people sooner. I would have canceled.

  Xander Harris : All right, but if you come across the army of zombies, can you page us before they eat your flesh?

  [Cordelia huffs and leaves the library] 

  Rupert Giles : Xander?

  Xander Harris : Huh?

  Rupert Giles : Zombies don't eat the flesh of the living.

  Xander Harris : Yeah, I knew that. But did you see the look on her face?

• Cordelia Chase : Hello! Can we deal with my pain, please?

  Rupert Giles : There, there.

  [pats her on the back in passing] 

• Cordelia Chase : Okay, I'm doing this under protest. It is not fair that they are making participation in this year's Science Fair mandatory. I don't think anyone should have to do anything educational in school if they don't want to.

• Cordelia Chase : [cheerleader rushing off as fight song plays]  Yeah, you don't understand, I have to go, I'm the apex!