- Xander Harris: Y'know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too.
- Rupert Giles: Hear, hear!
- Buffy Summers: Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and women have the babies.
- [giving Giles advice on his pick-up lines]
- Buffy Summers: You also might want to avoid words like "amenable" and "indecorous," you know? Speak English, not whatever they speak in, uh...
- Rupert Giles: England?
- Buffy Summers: Yeah.
- Cordelia Chase: Why are these terrible things always happening to me?
- Xander Harris: Karma.
- [fake cough]
- Cordelia Chase: I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. What you did in there was really brave and heroic. And I just wanted to tell you if there's anything I could ever do to...
- Xander Harris: Do you mind? We're talking here. So, where were we?
- Willow Rosenberg: Wondering why we never get dates.
- Xander Harris: Yeah. So, why do you think that is?
- Buffy Summers: Why? Are you jealous?
- Angel: [chuckles] Of Xander? Please! He's just a kid.
- Buffy Summers: Is it 'cause I danced with him?
- Angel: "Danced with' is a pretty loose term. "Mated with" might be a little closer.
- Buffy Summers: Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance, which I only did to make you crazy, by the way. Behold my success.
- Angel: I am *not* jealous.
- Buffy Summers: You're not jealous? What, vampires don't get jealous?
- Angel: See? Whenever we fight, you always bring up the vampire thing.
- Buffy Summers: There's something else, though. We found an empty grave.
- Rupert Giles: Another vampire?
- Buffy Summers: No. No, this one was dug up and the body was taken out.
- Rupert Giles: Grave-robbing? That's new. Interesting.
- Buffy Summers: I *know* you meant to say gross and disturbing.
- Rupert Giles: Yes, yes, yes, of course. A terrible thing. Must-Must put a stop to it. Damn it.
- [first lines]
- [sitting on top of the gravestone of Stephan Korshak]
- Buffy Summers: C'mon, Stephan, rise and shine. Some of us have a ton of trig homework waiting.
- Angel: Hey. Is this a bad time?
- Buffy Summers: Are you crazy? You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or... yodel.
- Angel: I heard you were on the hunt.
- Buffy Summers: I'm supposed to be, but... Lazybones here doesn't wanna come out and play.
- Angel: When you first wake up, it's a little disorienting. He'll show.
- Buffy Summers: It's weird to think of you going through that.
- Angel: [morose tone] It's weird to go through.
- Willow Rosenberg: [has morgue bookmarked on her computer] It says that Meredith and two other girls in the car were killed instantly. They were all on the Fondren High Pep Squad, on the way to a game.
- Buffy Summers: You know what this means.
- Xander Harris: That Fondren might actually beat Sunnydale in the cross-town body-count competition this year?
- Buffy Summers: She wasn't killed by vampires. Somebody *did* dig up her corpse.
- Cordelia Chase: Eww! Why is it that every conversation you people have has the word "corpse" in it?
- Rupert Giles: Rugged? American football?
- [chuckles]
- Jenny Calendar: And that's funny because?
- Rupert Giles: No, no, I just think it's rather odd that a nation that prides itself on its virility should feel compelled to strap on forty pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby.
- Xander Harris: And speaking of love...
- Willow Rosenberg: We were talking about the reanimation of dead tissue.
- Xander Harris: Do I deconstruct your segues?
- [giving Giles advice on his pick up lines]
- Buffy Summers: You just say, "Hey, I got a thing. You maybe have a thing. Maybe we could have a thing."
- Rupert Giles: Well, thank you, Cyrano.
- Buffy Summers: I don't get it. Why would anybody wanna *make* a girl?
- Xander Harris: You mean, when there's so many pre-made ones just laying around?
- Willow Rosenberg: You mean, making a zombie?
- Rupert Giles: Uh, zombies, more likely. For most traditional purposes, a voodoo priest would require more than one.
- Buffy Summers: So, we should see if the other girls from the accident are AWOL, too. Maybe we can figure out what this creep has in mind, if we know whether or not he's dealing in volume.
- Xander Harris: So we dig up some graves tonight?
- Willow Rosenberg: Oh, boy! A field trip!
- [Willow asks Cordelia whether she wants to go on the grave-digging adventure]
- Cordelia Chase: Darn, I have cheerleader practice tonight. Boy, I wish I knew you'd be digging up dead people sooner. I would have canceled.
- Xander Harris: All right, but if you come across the army of zombies, can you page us before they eat your flesh?
- [Cordelia huffs and leaves the library]
- Rupert Giles: Xander?
- Xander Harris: Huh?
- Rupert Giles: Zombies don't eat the flesh of the living.
- Xander Harris: Yeah, I knew that. But did you see the look on her face?
- Xander Harris: So this chair-woman? We are talking about Ms Calendar, right?
- Rupert Giles: What makes you think that?
- Xander Harris: Simple deduction. Ms Calendar is reasonably dollsome, especially for someone in you age bracket. She already knows that you're a school librarian, so you don't have to worry about how to break that embarrassing news to her.
- Buffy Summers: And she's the only woman we've actually ever seen speak to you. Add it up, it all spells "Duh."
- Willow Rosenberg: By the way, are we hoping to find a body, or no body?
- Xander Harris: Call me an optimist, but I'm hopin' to find a fortune in gold doubloons.
- Rupert Giles: Yes, really. What student here is going to be that well versed in physiology?
- Willow Rosenberg: Well, I can think of five or six guys in the science club. And me.
- Xander Harris: So, Will, come clean. Promise to never do it again, and we'll call it a night.
- [at their looks]
- Xander Harris: He joked.
- Willow Rosenberg: After a couple of days they're useless. They're gonna need something really fresh.
- Buffy Summers: How fresh?
- Willow Rosenberg: As fresh as possible... Buffy, you don't think that they would...
- Buffy Summers: I think anyone who cuts dead girls into little pieces does not get the benefit of any doubt.
- [last lines]
- [Angel and Buffy are strolling through the cemetery]
- Buffy Summers: God, the whole thing was so creepy. Well, at the same time, I mean... he did do it all for his brother.
- Angel: Sounds like he took it a little over the edge.
- Buffy Summers: Love makes you do the wacky.
- Angel: What?
- Buffy Summers: Crazy stuff.
- Angel: Oh. Crazy, like a 241-year-old being jealous of a high-school junior?
- Buffy Summers: Are you fessing up?
- Angel: I've thought about it. Maybe it bothers me a little.
- Buffy Summers: I don't love Xander.
- Angel: Yeah, but he's in your life. He gets to be there when I can't. Take your classes, eat your meals, hear your jokes and complaints... He gets to see you in the sunlight.
- Buffy Summers: I don't look that good in direct light.
- Angel: It'll be morning soon.
- Buffy Summers: I should probably go... I could walk you home.
- Rupert Giles: Ms Calendar?
- Jenny Calendar: Oh, no, please, call me Jenny. "Ms Calendar" is my mother.
- Buffy Summers: [to Giles] Then if you would't mind a little Gene and Roger, you might want to leave off the "idiot" part. Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood.
- Xander Harris: That actually kinda turns me on.
- Buffy Summers: I fear you.
- [practicing pick-up lines]
- Rupert Giles: W-w-w-what I'm proposing is, um... and I-I don't mean to appear indecorous, is-is, um, a-a-a-a social engagement, um, a-a-a-a date. If you're amenable.
- Angel: What I saw didn't add up to three whole girls. I think they kept some parts.
- Buffy Summers: Could this get yuckier?
- Willow Rosenberg: They probably kept the other parts to eat.
- Buffy Summers: Question answered.
- Cordelia Chase: Hello! Can we deal with my pain, please?
- Rupert Giles: There, there.
- [pats her on the back in passing]
- Xander Harris: Well, I guess that makes it official. Everybody's paired off. Vampires get dates. Hell, even the school librarian sees more action than me.
- Cordelia Chase: Okay, I'm doing this under protest. It is not fair that they are making participation in this year's Science Fair mandatory. I don't think anyone should have to do anything educational in school if they don't want to.
- [explaining to Cordelia that she is to be reanimated as Daryl's bride]
- Eric: You're gonna feel a little pinch, maybe some discomfort around the neck area. But don't worry. When you wake up, you'll have the body of a seventeen-year-old. In fact... you'll have the body of several.
- Cordelia Chase: [cheerleader rushing off as fight song plays] Yeah, you don't understand, I have to go, I'm the apex!