- Sara Sidle: Arrive as a couple, leave as a couple.
- Gil Grissom: No photos, no video.
- Sara Sidle: No affairs.
- Gil Grissom: And the kids must never know.
- Mia Dickerson: Nine vibrators, five plugs and four strands of beads.
- Greg Sanders: And a partridge in a pear tree. Some kids are happy playing in the sandbox, others want every toy in the store. And apparently these are dishwasher safe.
- Mia Dickerson: I'll swab the nooks and crannies for semen and vaginal secreations and epthelials, but don't get your hopes up.
- Greg Sanders: Oh, my money's on bag number two.
- Mia Dickerson: Twenty-six used condoms.
- Greg Sanders: Just like being back in college, right?
- Mia Dickerson: Sara said you didn't lose your virginity until you were twenty-two.
- [Greg acts like he didn't hear her and goes back to work]
- Zack Capola: You know how it is, you look like you were a jock in college.
- Greg Sanders: [points to himself shocked] Me?
- Sara Sidle: [points to Greg shocked] Him?
- Gil Grissom: [holding up the vibrator he discovered in a dishwasher] Well, cleanliness is next to godliness.
- Hodges: It's a good thing you don't need to pass a spelling test to work the field, "funtain" water?
- Greg Sanders: My people are Norwegian, that's how we spell it. So was the funtain water in her lungs?
- Greg Sanders: ...so she dies in a pool?
- Hodges: Or a spa. And by the way, that's spelled S-P-A, in any language.
- Dr. Al Robbins: You don't wear LaPerla to a tupperware party.
- Gil Grissom: LaPerla?
- Dr. Al Robbins: Very expensive. I gave some to my wife once. She accused me of having an affair.
- C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: I know that you got the memo, not sure that you read it, Ecklie is being promoted to assistant director, they are taking up vacations with the supervisor spot on days - I want it.
- [Gil looks at her and remains silent]
- C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: What? You want the day spot for yourself? You're worried about giving me a good AP score breaking up the team? Or maybe you just think I'm incapable of the position, not worthy of a promotion, is that it?
- [sighing]
- C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: I'm just always, always, always, defending myself to you, I'm unbelievable. I have a daughter who's so starved to my attention she is storming right to Fremont Street to see her grandfather, the last person I want her around, I mean that's not so much better with my mother who sees Lyndsey much more than I do. I am missing out of my daughter's life.
- [Near tears]
- C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: I have no life of my own. Would you just stop me and say something here?
- C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: You want the job because you worry about Lindsey?
- C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: That's part of it. I...
- C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: That position calls for leadership Catherine. You have to inspire others, solve problems, which means you have to leave your own problems at home.
- C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: I want the job because I can do it, I'm qualified and motivated and I'm ready Gil, you know that I am.
- C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: I do. Which is why I already sent in your AP, I gave you a 100 percent I've put it in a good word to the director. The rest is up to you. And, I hope you get it.
- C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Thank you