Cheers (TV Series)
Woody for Hire, Meets Norman of the Apes (1988)
Ted Danson: Sam Malone
Photos
Quotes
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Sam Malone : [about using the pool room on Sundays] Sunday is the night that we have our weekly pool tournament.
[general agreement from the guys]
Rebecca Howe : Well just have your pool tournament another night.
Sam Malone : [laughs] Yeah right. Like we can rearrange our schedule here, right.
Rebecca Howe : What about Monday night?
Sam Malone : Yoh, guys, we got a lady right off the boat here, doesn't speak any English. Tell her what happens Monday night, will you please.
Hugh , Cliff Clavin , Dr. Frasier Crane , Norm Peterson , Tim : Football.
Rebecca Howe : How about Tuesday?
Hugh : Darts night.
Rebecca Howe : Wednesday.
Cliff Clavin : Recovery from darts night.
Tim : Thursday's poker night.
Sam Malone : Friday's the night to howl.
Cliff Clavin : Yeah, and Saturday night is date night, so where does that leave us?
Norm Peterson : Horny on Sundays.
Sam Malone : Yoh!
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Sam Malone : What are you doing there?
Woody Boyd : Miss Howe put Moi in charge of refreshments for the book club.
Sam Malone : [points] Yeah, but what are those?
Woody Boyd : Finger sandwiches. You know the part that takes so much time is getting that middle knuckle right.
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Sam Malone : What are you doing, Woody?
Woody Boyd : [rubbing his hands together] I'm wringing my hands with guilt.
Sam Malone : Oh. I don't think I've ever seen that before. Why?
Woody Boyd : I told a terrible lie to the guys, Sam.
Sam Malone : Oh, you mean about being on that TV show?
Woody Boyd : No, that was true, but I got a telephone call, and I pretended it was Robert Urich on the other end. I mean I didn't hurt anybody or anything, although your plumber seemed a little confused.
Sam Malone : Well, don't worry about it. I'm sure everyone will forgive you.
Woody Boyd : But it was a lie Sam, and I've never told a lie before.
Sam Malone : What?
Woody Boyd : No, no, wait, that's a lie. I told a lie. Now that's two lies. See how much easier it gets.
[sobbing]
Woody Boyd : Oh my God, I'm out of control. What's next? Murder?